Through Rivers and Fires

I've been working on a pictorial post all throughout the day, but am having issues (or ithues, as my kids would say).

So instead, I'll share some thoughts about ... well ... about what I'm thinking.

This waiting game with the doctor is proving to be rather, shall we say ...

Ahem!

A pain in my rear.

While I was dusting today, I ran across an old card that a dear friend sent me when my Grandma died back in April. In it, she encouraged me with this verse from Isaiah 43:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.

Of course, I know in my head that God is always with me, that whatever waters I pass through, whatever fire I walk through, He will be right there with me. Even in the valley of the shadow of death, He has promised to be with me. But the reminder helped it sink into my heart.

Waiting is hard. Having heart problems is hard. Not feeling like I can eat is hard.

But Rivers and Fires are always worse if you go through them alone.

Good thing I'm not alone, huh? Good thing that a friend loves me enough to to do some reminding. Good thing I have a husband who assures me he will never leave me, no matter how sick I get.

So while I am not rich in much of what the world tells me is wealth today, I am excessively wealthy in comfort from my Lord, in assurance of love from my husband, and in the companionship of friends and extended family.

And that, my Lovely Lurkers, is true wealth.

Walking through Rivers and Fires is scary ... at times terrifying!

Walking through Rivers and Fires with God, and friends, and loved ones by my side ... well it's still scary!

But it's bearable.

And for that I will be forever grateful.

~Brenda

No News Is .....

.... No news!

Not sure if no news is good news, bad news, or just no news. I'm still twiddling my thumbs, waiting for Dr. S. to call me about the ultrasound (echocardiogram). I did hear that my blood work was all normal. They tested electrolytes and magnesium levels. I'm glad they were normal, in a not so glad way, as that would have been a simple fix to a scary problem.

So ... we wait. And in the meantime, I am practicing the word "no" and handing off various forms of commitments. I'm rather proud of myself for doing so, if I do say so myself!!

Have I mentioned I'm co-dependant? I like to rescue people in their troubles, even if it's their fault.

Sorry ... I digress ...

I'm learning the world goes 'round without this little housewife on the prairie stepping in to rescue. So I will continue to rest when I need to rest. Those extra heartbeats really kick in after I eat, and so I will continue to take a nap - guilt free - during those times.

And I pinky swear that I will post any little tidbit of news I hear.

In the meantime, let's get to prayin', prairie fans!! Not just for me, but for Stellan, whom you can read about by clicking on that little button on the left that says, "Pray for Stellan."

Amen?

Amen.

~Brenda

A Wii Little Man Was He

For this weeks MckLinky Blog Hop, we're to post our two favorite kid photos. I had actually chosen two older photos of my kids, but haven't had the time to scan them, etc. So instead, I chose these photos of my nephew, Ben. We share a birthday ... and apparently a flare for competitiveness!

Sung to the tune of Zaccheus was a wee little man.


Benjamin was a wii little man ...




And a wii little man was he ....

He pointed and giggled, and waved his wii ...

A delighted little soul was he ...

Benjamin! You come here!!

For I'm ticklin' your ribs today ...

Yes, I'm ticklin' your ribs today ...

Is that boy super delicious, or what?

~Brenda

Andrew's Gift

I have prayed many times for good gifts from the Lord. That they would be given to my children. And by good gifts, I don't mean fancy jobs, cars, or any other material possession. I mean talents. Fruit of the Spirit. The things that matter in life, and that can be used for His glory.

Ashlee has the gift of caring for others.

Jessie has the gift of music. Both singing and playing the piano.

And Andrew has the gift of pitching. Not with his voice, like his sister. But with his arm.

His babeball tournament was this weekend. We were excited just to be able to go to tournament, since we are now in an age group that requires you to earn that right. The top eight teams get to go, whereas when they're younger, each team went regardless of standings. I believe we came in fifth overall to win our tourney spot.

We didn't end up winning clear through to the final game. But we did win the first one.

I'm not going to lie. I wanted needed our team to win that first tourney game.

Desperately.

Why?

Because I am way too competitive, especially when we face a jerk we were going up against a team with a coach that, in my opinion, shouldn't be allowed to coach.

He's rude. He's mean to the kids. He causes a fuss with the umpires nearly every game, and sometimes even manages to get himself kicked out of the game.

And each time we play his team, we lose!

Not because they have so much more talent, but because his little mind games tend to do quite a job on the players. Both his and ours.

So I, in all my fleshly desires, wanted this win more than anything.

I prayed for it. I repented of my fleshly desires. Then I prayed for it some more. I was quite the train wreck. My heart beat wildly (not good at this point!). My hands broke out in a rash. Then I prayed for the win some more, and told the Lord I would give Him the glory.

Then I repented of trying to bribe the Lord.

See what I mean by train wreck?

Andrew pitched the first four innings. His buddy, Dalton, pitched the last three. To make a long story short, both of our pitchers did exceptionally well, and we ended up winning 4-3. It wasn't a slaughter. It wasn't easy. But we they got the job done.



But you know what?

Although I wanted this win more than anything, I made up my mind that if they lost, it would still be ok.

Why?

Because Andrew did his best. The whole team did their best. They fought hard. They persevered. They didn't let that coach's attitude get to them. They stuck together until the end.

Watching Andrew pitch is one of my very most favorite things to do. He does have a gift that has been given to him by God. And I'm so thankful that he uses it. He doesn't hoard it (although he's been tempted at times). He shares it. He gives back a portion of what he's been given.

It's good and right for him to do that. God gives us good gifts so that we may humbly share them with others.

I see the appreciation in the eyes of his teammates. I see his coach's admiration. But what I appreciate most about Andrew and his gift is that he's humble about his ability.

Could it be that he isn't really aware of the depth of his talent?

I believe that's part of it.

But if he were desperate to be the top guy, the one who was admired, the one everyone looked to for leadership ... I believe he would see his talent more clearly. In other words, he's not looking to be puffed up and made great. He just goes out there and does what the team needs him to do.

And they love him for it.

And so do I.

So I publicly thank the Lord for giving Andrew a good gift. For enabling him to be a humble leader that is not selfish with the talent God has given.

And for a wickedly fast pitch that causes his mama's heart to flutter each time she hears the smack in the glove, followed by a ...

SSSSSTTEEEEEEEEERRRRIIIIKE!!!!




Good job, Titans!!! Can't wait until next year.

~Brenda, the baseball lovin' prairie mama

Turbulent Ticker

Wanna know what the tech said about my turbulent ticker?

Good! Cuz I wanna tell ya' too!

I went and had the ultrasound (echocardiogram) done this morning, and although I haven't heard anything straight from the doctors mouth, the ultrasound tech was rather chatty. :-)

She saw right away that the top and bottom portion of my heart are not in sync at all. In addition, I'm having what she called "regurgitation and insufficiency." Meaning, the blood is supposed to be flowing out of my heart valves into the rest of my body, and instead, it's flowing back into the heart.

Not all of it, mind you. :-) But some. She either couldn't tell how severe it was or didn't want to say, so she left that to the doctor (who will hopefully call tonight).

So I know that the funky rythyms will need to be fixed, although I have no idea how they will attempt that. I'm hoping they can (viola!) magically tweak some settings on the pacemaker. After all, this is exactly what the pacer is supposed to fix in the first place!!

Sheesh.

I asked her why the symptoms get so severe when I eat, and she said that made perfect sense because the blood has to rush to my stomach when I eat, which makes the heart work harder. This is perhaps why the symptoms go away while I'm sleeping ... because the heart isn't having to work as hard. ?

I have no idea what the cure or treatment for either of these problems are. So we'll all have to wait for that bit of information.

If Dr. S calls tonight, I'll post something new in the morning. So keep your little tickers in tune, will ya'?

In the meantime, I'm going to go to Andrew's baseball tournament tonight and enjoy the bajeebers out of myself!!

Bajeebers. Yeah, maybe that's what is causing all of these turbulent ticker tantrums.

~Brenda, the bajeeberful prairie mama with the turbulent ticker

***Photo courtesy of iamhomosquirrel on Flickr

Frogs and Blogs

I don't like frogs.

I love blogs.

Put them together, and you have the BlogFrog.

And I love the BlogFrog.

Check out their new layout HERE for a little sneaky poo of your own. And if you have a blog, grab one of their widgets!! They generate more traffic, look great, and keep you updated on who has visited your blog.

What a deal!!

~Brenda, the BlogFrogger

Comfort Food

There's comfort food ... and then there's comfort food.

Food for the belly, and food for the soul.

Food for the belly is a sore subject with me because of this, but food for the soul?

Now there's a topic I can discuss!

Last night, I was playing the piano for Shaun while he was setting up a new printer. You could say I was serenading him. He likes it when I tickle the ivories for him. It blesses him, relaxes him, and lightens his heart, particularly if I play hymns.

But as is typical of ministering, the one who ministers very often gets a blessing as well ...

As my hands softly played, my heart became lighter and lighter as I silently sang these words:

Every joy or trial
Falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial
By the Sun of Love.

We may trust Him fully
All for us to do;
They who trust Him wholly
Find Him wholly true.

Chorus:

Stayed upon Jehovah,
Hearts are fully blest;
Finding as He promised,
Perfect peace and rest.

(Taken from Like A River Glorious, by Frances Havergal and James Mountain)

What struck me in that last verse was the idea that trusting was a choice we make. We can either trust Him wholly, and find perfect peace and rest, or we can choose the imperfect route of anxiety and distrust.

I don't do this perfectly, so my peace and rest are not perfect. But it was a good reminder of what to strive for ... what direction to go in.

Who or what will your put your trust in today as a result of your trials?

Whatever trial that falleth from above, I hope you choose to trust Jesus wholly, so that your heart can be fully blest.

Comforted.

Perfectly Peaceful.

Like a glorious river.

~Brenda

Psalm 34:8 - Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

Favorite Recipe - With A Twist

For this week's MckLinkly Blog Hop, we're to list a favorite recipe. I chose this one because it has so many memories for me. It's probably not very palatable. Nor will it fill your tummy.

But it will bring you laughter.

And what better thing to fill up on?

I have this recipe in my Grandma's handwriting. It's getting old and faded. Some of the words are no longer eligible. But the recipe card she penned it on is precious to me. She gave it to me when I got married ... mostly because she was ornery and wanted to pass it on (the orneriness, not the recipe).

So without further adieu, the recipe my Grandmother chose to share with me as a new bride:

The Good Husband Recipe

A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanagement in cooking and are so not tender and good. Some women keep them constantly in hot water; others let them freeze by their carelessness and indifference. Some keep them in a stew with irritating ways and words. Some wives keep them pickled, while others waste them shamefully. It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good when so managed, but they are really delicious when prepared properly.

In selecting a husband, you should be guided by the silvery appearance as in buying a mackerel; not by the golden tint as if you wanted salmon. Do not go to the market for him as the best ones are always brought to the door. Be sure to select him yourself as tastes differ. It is far better to have none unless you will patiently learn how to cook him.Of course, as preserving kettle of the finest porcelain is best, but if you have nothing better than an earthenware pippin, it will do---with care.

Like crabs and lobsters, husbands are cooked alive. They sometimes fly out of the kettle and do so become burned and crusty on the edges, so it is wise to secure him in the kettle with a strong silken cord called Comfort, as the once called Duty is apt to be weak. Make a clear, steady flame of love, warmth and cheerfulness. Set him as near this as seems to agree with him.If he sputters, do not be anxious, for some husbands do this until they are quite done. Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call kisses, but use no pepper or vinegar on any account. Season to taste with spices, good humor and gaiety preferred, but seasoning must always with great discretion and caution.

Avoid sharpness in testing him for tenderness. Stir him gently, lest he lie to flat and close to the kettle and so become useless. You cannot fail to know when he is done. If so treated, you will find him very digestible, agreeing with you perfectly; and he will keep as long as you choose, unless you become careless and slow the home fires to grow cold.

Thus prepared, he will serve a lifetime of happiness!

From the Yankee Kitchen Cookbook...Author and Date unknown, but from the early 1800's


~Brenda

Heart Wise

I have a lot of thoughts running through my head and heart this morning, and not much time to share any of them. But I at least owe you a follow up concerning the results from the heart monitor, yes?

Yes.

The cardiologist did call me back after reading the results. And in a nutshell, the bottom part of my heart isn't working quite right. Meaning, I have lots of extra beats there. To me, if feels as though I'm getting skipped beats ... but I trust he knows how to read the stips accurately. :-)

We don't have any idea what is causing it. It could be as simple as a magnesium deficiency, which would not be that uncommon in people with intestinal diseases. He will probably check for a magnesium deficiency and an electrolyte imbalance, just to be safe. But for now, he's scheduled me for an ultrasound to determine whether the heart is enlarged. He's looking for one other thing also, but I don't recall what it was.

I think the major concern is that the extra beats are happening so frequently. It is not uncommon for me to have an occasional skipped beat, extra beat ... a flutter. But for the last five or six weeks, it's been a fairly constant occurence. And with my cardiac history, he doesn't want to mess around or leave it be. And I think that's wise.

Heart wise.

And speaking of hearts ...

My physical heart is having flutters. My spiritual heart is having flusters.

Having constant physical flutters produces an anxious feeling. If you've ever had any heart trouble, you know what I'm talking about. It's unsettling. It takes your breath away, quite literally. It makes you nervous.

Having constant physical flutters can also make me anxious emotionally, and this is what I'm having to strive hard to control. I feel anxious about possibly needing more heart procedures done. I feel anxious about medical bills. I feel anxious about it possibly being something that cannot be fixed.

And on and on it goes ... if I let it.

So I turn to the Lord, and ask Him for peace. I ask Him to comfort me, give me strength physically, as well as spiritually and emotionally.

Life does not stop because I have extra heart beats. Other peoples hearts go on beating regularly. Methodically. Perfectly.

I cannot make my heart beat like that.

But when my physical heart is confused, I don't want my spiritual heart to follow suit. I need to set my spiritual heart on the things above, rest in Him and His all sufficient grace, and lay every little extra heartbeat at the foot of the Cross. Where His grace and mercy are abundant. Where I can rest in His sovereignty and goodness. His watchcare over me. Over my kids.

If there's one thing I learned from the time of my life where I was bedridden and had little kids to take care of, it's that I am not irreplacable. This world keeps going whether I am here or not. If my heart fails, the rythym of my children's hearts will continue. The steady beat of my husbands heart that I hear when I lay my head on his chest will endure. The laundry will still get washed and folded (well, it will get washed ...). Andrew will still get his driver's license. Someone will take over being secretary for the church, etc., etc.

My job is not to worry about who will accomplish everything I do if I am no longer able, but to trust God when He says that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Bottom line: He knows what He's doing. I am the clay. He is the Potter.

I trust Him to make me into a beautiful vessel that can be used by Him. And if it takes extra heartbeats to accomplish that, then so be it.

I trust the Lord.

If I can trust Him with my soul, I can trust Him with my heart.

Extra beats and all.

~Brenda

My New Sidekick

My loving, adorable, generous husband walked in the door a couple of weeks ago and asked, "How do you feel about an oak writing desk?"

It was a question we both knew the answer to, but I replied, "I feel pretty darn good about an oak writing desk!"

So we hopped in the covered wagon truck and said howdy to our neighbors who live about three blocks down from us who were having a yard sale.

I was sold within seconds.

I checked and double checked to make sure it didn't have any major scratches, dents, or ABC gum sticking to the bottom of it, paid the lady her money and ....

TADA!

My new sidekick:






We spend a lot of time together, her and I. And I look forward to a long and prosperous relationship with her.

As does the kitty, who is constantly sneaking behind my lapatop, sniffing around, trying to curl up in nooks and cranny's.

Last week, she took notice of the little bird sitting on top and was either trying to make friends ...




Or deciding whether it was lunch. I'm not sure which one.

~Brenda

Summer Snippets

It's been an incredibly busy Summer and I think I'm looking forward to school starting, just so we are required to stay home and get our work done.

However, here's some Summer Snippets of our little Prairie Life that you might enjoy:

***Jessie got her drivers license - and her new car. So I am no longer a taxi mom for her, which is both helpful - and sad. Helpful because I am somewhat freed up, and sad because I haven't seen her as much.

Sniff, sniff.

Kids do grow up, and start doing their own thing. And I think I may have officially begun the empty nesting process. Fortunately, for me, it's been a slow process. My kids (so far) haven't packed their bags and headed off to college (dorm life). Ashlee graduated as an EMT, but while living at home. Jessie is currently saving to go to college - at home. So I'm seeing less and less of them ... but they're still here. With me. Where they belong.

At least for a little while longer.

A little proof of ownership?

Sure!

The car's name is Penelope, by the way. Penny, for short.

Oh ... and the creepy shadow behind her? That's a friend. And he's really not too creepy.

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***My very sweet friend, Beth, dropped by the other day to give me this belated birthday gift:




Indeed, a girl after my own heart. She's a quilt lover and so am I. So she rolled up these beautiful fabrics, placed them in an adorable bucket, along with the little elephant she picked up on her trip to Cambodia, and viola!!

Happy Birthday to me.

I don't have any pictures of Beth and I, but next time she comes over (in August), I'm going to take some. We'll be sewing some little quilted make-up bags, and I can't wait!!

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***Next is the Creative Catcher, Carston. He's Andrew's sidekick in baseball. He's who Andrew feels the most comfortable with when he's pitching wickedly fast strikes .

And he's very creative with baseball sun reflector makeup.

Don't you think?




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***And then there's me. The new Bionic Woman.





Well, in my dreams I am.

I returned the heart monitor yesterday. No word back yet as to whether they see the flutters I am feeling. The monitor supposedly picks up much more than the pacemaker does, so hopefully the monitor will come through for me. I experienced plenty of skipped beats, flutters, etc. the two days it was on, so I'm hoping ...

I mean, really. I didn't walk around with that contraption on for two days, looking like a Bionic Woman Wannabe for nothin'!

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How 'bout you? Have you blogged about any of your Summer Snippets? If so, leave a comment and link so we can all read about it!

~Brenda

I Caught A Stick

Remember It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown? I always remember Charlie's line of "I got a rock" when he discovered the goodies in his Trick or Treat bag.

I think I know what Charlie was feeling. Not because I got a rock in my goodie bag, but because when I go fishing, I tend to catch anything BUT a fish!

I either give the fish half of my pole (how lame is that?):

Or I catch a stick ...

Or I catch this little doohickey. Perhaps my frustration is building at this point?:

I've been rather notorious for my trick or treating fishing results. In fact, this trip I'm showing you is proving to be somwhat boring for my family, in comparison to trip where I caught a camera. Oh yes, and the turtle. I'll never forget Mr. Turtle. He was soooo cute, and I felt soooo bad that his little mouth was hooked. So I Shaun unhooked him, I apologized profusely, and he waddled back to his happy little lake home in the slow, methodical way that only a turtle can.

But truthfully ... I think he was walking slow because his feelings were hurt.

As for last weeks trip, I decided to give in to the fact that the fish were not interested in me. So I set my pole down and enjoyed the beautiful clouds that were forming....

... ate my supper, and simply enjoyed the fact that I am the mother of these three teenagers:

And then it didn't matter that I caught a stick.

~Brenda

Three Things You Didn't Know About Me

For this weeks MckLinky Blog Hop, I'm instructed to list three things you may not know about me.

So here goes!!

Numero UNO:

I am a dental disaster. Not only do I not have good teeth, I fear dentists and their wicked little drills and torture tools. I currently have a tooth that is slowly disappearing, but I haven't gotten the courage to go get it filled. I seem to require more numbing medicine than the average person, and I usually get some strange looks from the dental assistant when I writhe in pain (isn't that rude of her?). This does not float my boat, nor give me warm fuzzies. Well, maybe the kind you get right before you pass out.

Numero DOS:

Dirty, goopy sink plugs disgust me. I run mine through the dishwasher once or twice per week in order to avoid the gunky stuff that tends to build up. I also have a bit of a sink fetish, in that, I scrub out my sink at least twice a day, and I dry it, along with the faucet each time I do dishes. It gives it that shiny, well cared for look. A finishing touch worth the five seconds it takes!

Numero TRES:

I love all things quilty. You know that Christmas morning feel you would get as a kid? And that feeling you get when you know a super duper surprise is coming? That's the feeling I get when I look at quilt books. Or when I'm in a quilt shop. Or when I see matching fabrics. I feel so excited and stimulated that I have to work hard to contain my little self. I want to get my grubby little hands on it, cut it, and stitch it all together to make something beautiful. It's like taking little bits of beautiful and making one big beautiful!! I love it!

Want to share three things about your own little self? Join the MckLinky Blog Hop, or simply leave a comment!

Happy Blog Hopping!

~Brenda

Twitterpated!

Just a side note to let all ya'll know that I'm officially Twitterpated! You can find my tweets on the right hand side bar, below my list of Lovely Lurkers.

Every single gorgeous one of 'em.

Feel free to follow me (my handle is PrairieLady)... but please be patient. I'm just now learning how this works. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm a slow learner.

No seriously. I am.


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Also, when I wrote this post a few days ago that dealt with wasting your life, I used Michael Jackson as an example. I will expand on that a bit more in the near future. I'm reading and praying and schemin' and ... well, you get the point. I'm preparing. So stay tuned for more. You know ... if you're interested in that type of thing.

~Brenda

Happy Birthday, Andrew!

I just want to officially say Happy Birthday to my (not so) little guy, Andrew! He turned 13 today. At 4:17 in the morning, to be exact. And I may be just a ssssmidgen bitter about that. I mean honestly ... first he chooses to be born at an ungodly hour, then he had the gall to grow to a hefty nine pounds four ounce monster beautiful baby.

Approximately 6.362 pounds of that was head.

Ouch.

Seriously ... I wouldn't change a thing. He was absolutely gorgeous when he was born. He looked like a little old man, receding hairline and all. He was big, so all of the newborn items were sent off to goodwill. But I didn't mind. He was healthy. He was beautiful. He was ours, given to us by God. That's all that mattered.

Thirteen years later, I still wouldn't change a thing. I won't lie - he's a challenge. Not in a rebellious sort of way. But he has his fair share of problems. Problems that are very difficult for him and us.

But our family wouldn't be complete without him.

He's one fifth of us.

He's the period at the end of our sentence.

He's the chocolate on our chocolate Sunday.

Did I mention he likes to entertain us a lot?














Indeed. He does everything from magic tricks, to Inspector Crusoe impressions. And I must say, his vocal impressions of Inspector C. are quite impressive. And he does them a lot.

You know how I know he does them a lot?

When I was scurrying around the house one day, doing my daily chores, I began to think.

In Inspector Crusoe language.

I even began doing Inspector C. impressions myself one day.

But ... I digress.

We love you, Andrew. Magic Tricks, Inspector Impressions, and all of your struggles. They're all a part of you, and we accept the whole package.

So Happy Birthday, and thanks for not running away from home yet. We know it's mighty tempting at times.

Love,

Your Mama

Single Sentence Saturday

I Saw A Sign

Not a sign from Heaven or anything, although that would be nice!!

Andrew had an out of town baseball game last week, wwwwwaaaaaaaayyyy out on the prairie. We had to drive for quite a while, so I was major bummed when we got rained out.

However, seeing this sign nearly made the trip worth it. I'm actually collecting signs that I see that I think are interesting, funny, ridiculous, gross ... anything out of the norm. Different.

Hence the reason I took this picture:





Ha!

At least they're honest, right?

~Brenda

SVT, Pacemakers, and Other Junk

I've never shared my specific health problems with any of my Lovely Lurkers. Partly because I don't like to talk about it, and partly because I'm not sure it makes for very interesting reading. ;-)

However ... I have some (potentially) good news, and an answer to prayer, so I'm having a hard time containing myself.

In a nutshell, I have:

A pacemaker. This is due to going into complete heart block after open heart surgery to correct SVT. I've had the pacemaker for 20 years, almost exactly, and am currently on my third pacemaker (they have to be replaced once in a while). I also have mitral valve prolapse, which has never been corrected.

Digestively speaking ... I have gastroparesis and celiac disease.

And last, I have ankylosing spondylitis (early stages).

Instead of going into detail about each problem, I'll let you decide whether you'd like to clicky on the linky's I provided.

Ok, so here's where the juicy stuff comes in.

I've had some consistent and bothersome heart issues come up within the last month. So when I had my three month pacemaker check a few days ago, I just mentioned what was going on, and asked if I should be checked. The pacemaker tech said that he wasn't seeing anything significant that the pacer recorded, and that it was up to me if I chose to see the cardiologist. His suggestion was to indeed make an appointment if the symptoms were bothersome.

But I walked away from that appointment, not scheduling anything. I wanted to wait it out. I don't like doctors. I don't like having to convince someone that something is wrong. I didn't want the stress of it.

I went home and have been praying about it for a couple of days. I had my heart surgeries in Texas, and I was contemplating whether I should call them to see if they had any suggestions ... someone who would know whether this was heart related or intestinal.

As I was running over in my mind whether to make that phone call, my phone rang.

It was my cardiologist. Good ol' Dr. S. himself.

I nearly passed out ... partly because I wasn't sure if he was going to tell me something really bad (why else would he call me???).

To make a long story short(er), he didn't think the problems I'm having should be swept under the rug and wants me to have a 48 hour heart monitor put on next week. This is to try and catch an episode, so they can then see if it's heart related, or more of a digestive problem. (Turns out, the pacer won't record any episodes shorter than about twenty minutes long. Since my episodes happen frequently, but not for long periods of time, it's not recording it.)

I hung up the phone rather stunned that it had been that easy to get this ball rollin'. It's a long story (much longer than the one I'm telling here!), but I've not had good "luck" with doctors in my area taking me seriously when I say there's a problem. Sure, I have lots of labels for my illnesses now, but it hasn't always been that way.

I told Dr. S. my feeling is that my symptoms are related to the gastroparesis (I've experienced heart related problems from it before). But he said he'd like to rule out anything cardiac before pursuing anything else.

Okay.

I can deal with that.

So I'm feeling blessed to have received that phone call this morning. It's a direct answer to prayer. I know what to do next. I have no idea what they'll find out, if anything. But I at least know what the next step is.

And that's a good feeling.

~Brenda

I'm Calling A Family Meeting

Everyone come sit down! I'm callin' a family meeting.

With my Lovely Lurkers, that is.

Don't worry. Nobody's in trouble (that's what my family always thinks when we call a meeting).

I just wanted to specifically address some comments that were made yesterday.

So here goes:

El Mommy said:

Hi! I came to your blog from MckMama's discussion boards. And I'm actually going to check out Piper's book. I've read some really interesting things from him before. Isn't it a good sign that we ought to read something when our first reaction is, "But I might need to change!" LOL Maybe I'll go to the library today ;-)

We go through one chapter per week of the book. I usually dread my preparation time for class, because I know there's going to be plenty of things pointed out to me that I need to change, so I know the feeling!!! Good for you for not giving in and reading it anyway.

Day Photo said:

went to your store and looked at your darling clothes! They are wonderful and you are very talented.

Linda

http://coloradfarmlife.wordpress.com/

Shucks!! If only I could claim that I made those clothes!! But I didn't. I just grabbed the real seamstress' button from her blog, and put it on mine. Mostly because I thought the button was adorable, and so are her clothes that she sews. It made me want to open an Etsy shop and sell some similar items.

Perhaps when I am no longer home schooling ...

Valerie said:

I actually found the Piper book on my 16 year old son's bed stand yesterday. He had just come back from a Christ in Youth conference last week, and I was excited to see that he was interested in reading that!

I think it's totally awesome that your son is reading the book!! Good for him. My daughter, Jessie, is reading The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. It was recommended to her by one of her friends who not only reads Tozer, but C.S. Lewis and other deep thinkers/writers. Pretty hefty literature!!

Chris said:

Sounds like a great read to me. I am in the middle of Zorro's Field.....again, just can't get enough of it. From reading your blog I know it's the kind of book you would love. Thanks for your comments over at Johnson Family Farm, been so busy I have not had time to update in such a long time. Not much time for any blog reading either, I miss that too. Following you and hope to get back here soon. Thanks.

Zorro's Field. I've never heard of it, but I plan to check it out!! I hope you get a chance to update your blog soon. I still check it, and am standing on one foot and then the other waiting patiently for your next post!

Thanks to ALL my Lovely Lurkers for being faithful in visiting, commenting, and in general just making my day.

You guys/gals rock!!

~Brenda

Summer Reading

Anybody else in favor of pulling up a lawn chair, a glass of iced tea (sugar and lemon, please!), and a good book while we soak in some sunshine?

Me too!!

And I've tried to do a little bit of just that recently.

What am I reading?

Well, a couple of things.

First, I'm reading Don't Waste Your Life, by John Piper.

If you are searching for significance, and don't wish to waste your life ... read this book!

If you want to challenge your thinking, the way you spend your time, what it is you are living for ... read this book!

I don't want to get to the end of my life, not able to think of a single thing I did for Christ. This book teaches me that a life lived for self is a wasted life. A life lived for Christ, magnifying Him and glorying in His presence is a life well lived.

Ah hem! Excuse me while I just step up on my soapbox for one moment ...

I'm sure you've heard the news that Michael Jackson died this past week. While I feel for the family, I feel even worse for MJ.

Why?

Because I think he's a perfect example of a wasted life.

Was he talented?

You bet!

Was he rich?

You bet!

Was he, at times, a giving person?

Probably!

Was anything that he did for to the glory of God? Did he ever desire to exalt Christ above himself?

I'm not seeing it!

That's an example of a wasted life.

Why do we, as American's, idolize people like MJ? Perhaps because he's a little more "tangible" than Jesus? Because we can see him with our very own eyes?

I'm a firm believer that you can see Jesus too, with a little faith.

Where can you get some of this faith, so that you might see Jesus?

Romans 10:17 says that Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.

Meaning ... read your Bible.

In addition to reading your Bible, go to church. Be around others who have faith, so that your faith can grow.

Deep breath ...

Hopping off my soapbox ...

I'm also reading A Distant Music, by B.J. Hoff

This is my light summer reading. I love to read books based on the late 1800's, early 1900's era. If it's a Prairie story, all the better. This particular book isn't about living on the prairie, but a mining town. Life is hard, and life is not always peaches and cream in this book. But the children that attend the one room schoolhouse, with Jonathan as their teacher, are indeed blessed.

I'm only about a third of the way through, but I am hooked. I love reading how many of these children are not wasting their lives. They're modeling their lives after Jesus, with the fine example of Jonathan right before their very eyes.

One little girl in the book was puzzled as to what to do in a very difficult decision. She asked her friend what she would do, and that friend said that she would do what Jonathan did ... because Jonathan always did what Jesus would do, and her ultimate goal was to always do what Jesus did.

And that, my Lovely Lurkers, is the way to not waste your life.

Do what Jesus would do. Glorify Him while you're doing it.

~Brenda

Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. ~Psalm 34:3 (emphasis mine)

MckLinky - Favorite Photograph

Ok, scratch that last post. This is a quick way to post a photo. In between calculating receipts, of course.

This photo is of my niece, who is, in my opinion, incredibly photogenic. I love taking pictures of her.

I'd Rather ....

You know those bumper stickers that say ...

I'd rather be fishing.

I'd rather be boating.

I'd rather be skiing.

I'd rather be golfing.

Well, I'd just like to say that today ...

I'd rather be blogging.

I hear the laundry calling my name. I hear bills calling my name. I hear baseball games calling my name.

And so, my dear Lovely Lurkers, I may not get a pictorial post in today.


For pictures are sweet,
Moreso than treats,
But I must accomplish my feats,
Before I post my sweet treats.

But I will return,
As soon as tides turn,
So make yourself at home,
Pull up a chair and roam!

There's lots of other posts,
To keep you on your toes,
So relax, enjoy, and roam,
Until order once more graces my home!

Wow. After that poem, I'll bet you're hoping I stick with the pictorial posts more often ...

~Brenda

That Time of the Month

I gotchya' with that title, didn't I?

I'm not talking about THAT time of the month. I'm talking about the time of the month that my house usually gets filled with these:








Ben gave the roses to Ashlee last night, because it's their "eighth month anniversary." Then he brought the yellow flowers this morning, because ... well ... just because.

I just loooove fresh flowers around the house, and if it takes someone doting over my daughter to get some, then so be it. My budget certainly doesn't allow it, nor do I have a very green thumb.

Mind you, I didn't let Big Ben get off without a little teasing. I answered the door this morning when he came to give Ashlee the flowers. Without missing a beat, I said with mouth wide open, hand on my chest, "Oooohhh Ben!!! For meeeee? Thank you SOOOO much. That was SOOOOO sweet of you!"

Hey, if the guys can't put up with a little grief, they don't deserve to take my daughter on a picnic.

Truthfully, Ben was gracious as usual and simply handed the flowers to me, showing every pearly white he possesses.

Having said that, I also identify with Jim Bishop when he said ...

“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.”

Amen and amen.

~Brenda