happy vday and a guest post

First of all, Happy Valentine's Day!!  I hope your day is filled with pink and red candy, kisses, and hugs. I'm personally spending my day at the orthodontist to get braces on (I know ... how hopelessly romantic!). 

But don't be too quick to judge. I've already been romanced with a movie and dinner, and a whole weekend of Shaun and me time. So trust me, I'm content. ;) 

For those of you celebrating today, I invite you to read my guest post over at Scribing the Journey (click on the link below). It's all about kisses ... both chocolate and real. And, if you've forgotten VDay, it'll give you a few ideas on how to get up from the computer immediately (!!!!!) and begin putting something together for your lover. 

Hugs and kisses to you all!! 

Okay ... maybe just hugs. 
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Guest Post: 


Dear men reading this, 

Valentine’s Day is today. You’re welcome for the reminder.

Dear women reading this, 

Valentine’s Day is today. You really should make your lover something good to eat.

Don’t have a clue what to bake? Fear not! I am here to give you a little hint. Continue Reading

dancing in the minefield, sailin' through the storms

To Shaun, my most faithful reader, and loyal husband,




Thank you for dancing in the minefields and sailin' in the storms with me for the past 21 years. It has been harder than we dreamed, ... but that's what the promise is for. I hope you'll walk with me in the shadowlands for another 21 years ... until the shadows disappear ...

I love you.

~Brenda-Nay

they stand at the door and knock, knock, knock

To all the boys who think they love my daughter,

I know it's hard. My daughter is beautiful. She's funny, perky, supportive, intelligent, and fun to be around. And much to your pleasant surprise, she's once again ... single.

You know what that means?

What's that?

No. It does not mean that you can begin showing up on my doorstep to take her here, there, and everywhere. And no, it does not mean that you can write her love letters. Or call incessantly. And don't even try to play that "my shoulder is here for you to cry on" game. Do you really want a gal on the rebound? Stop listening to your raging, popping hormones and THINK. It's been one week since her and her fiance broke up.

ONE. WEEK. That's seven days, for those of you who are uneducated.

Now, here's what my daughter's new "single" status on facebook means. It means that she's come to the conclusion that marriage isn't for her right now. You don't need to know the reasons. All you need to do is respect them. And her. And me. And her father. And her sister. And her brother. Yes, her brother and sister. Are you ignorant to the fact that when a serious relationship starts in a family, it affects each member? We begin to love the person who (by dating my daughter) is a candidate to become a son-in-law to us. When that relationship is broken, we all grieve.

But more importantly ... is it in her best interest to start another relationship at this time (remember, we're thinking with our brains here, not our hormones)? When you flock to my doorstep, ring my doorbell, or write her letters, are you thinking of her? Do you realize that's what a healthy relationship consists of? Thinking of others first? First. As in ... before you.

Some of you may be wracking your brain, thinking, "Oh dear me, what could I do to impress Mr. and Mrs. C so that they would approve of me dating Jessica?" If that's what you're thinking, you've already failed. Because I just asked you not to knock on our door. Or maybe you're saying, "You're the mom. Who cares what you think? Jessie's a big girl, and she can make her own decisions."

You're absolutely correct, but again - you fail. Jessica does not require our approval. She's legally an adult, and therefore can do whatever she pleases. But if you were any sort of gentleman, you'd be seeking our advice and approval, just as Jessica does.

I know it's counter-cultural, but there's a little thing we like to call respect around our house. Respect for others, but more pointedly, respect for our elders. Why have respect for our elders? Because they're older. And wiser. And (news flash!) people who have been married for over 20 years tend to know a few things about making a marriage work. If you are too proud to ask for help, adivce, and wisdom from others, you aren't good enough. And you guessed it .... you FAIL.

Have you ever heard of Voddie Bauchum?

Go ahead, Desperado. Google that.

On second thought, save yourself the typing. If you don't know who he is, then you'll have no idea what we as parents expect from someone dating our daughter, and again, you have failed.

Are you feeling tested?

Good. Because that's basically what dating is. It's a test. A test to see whether you would make a good husband, father, lifetime mate, lover, and leader of a family. And guess who administers the test? Yep, you guessed it. Mr. C and yours truly. So forget about sweet talkin' Jessie into believing you're groom worthy, or even date worthy, and thinking you've passed some sort of unwritten test. Because (another news flash!) it's not solely about what Jessie thinks. There are people who love her and are here to protect her against hormonal, raging idiots that wander in from the streets.

If being tested scares you away, good. It proves that all you would want in a relationship is the funny, and the beautiful. In other words ... you're shallow, and relying on your hormones to do your thinking.

So, farewell shallow boys. Come back in five, ten, fifteen years, when you've studied what it means to be a real husband, father, and home leader. When you've got some kind of financial ability to care for a family, and when you've been knocked around hard enough to know that R-E-S-P-E-C-T is a good and godly trait ... and absolutely essential to succeeding in life ... especially in this household (know ye not that when a person marries, he/she marries a whole family?).

Until then, we will continue to lead and instruct Jessica as well as we can into becoming the kind of wife and mother God desires her to be. We'll all do our part. You do your part. And then (and only then!) will we even be interested in seeing your ugly mug on our doorstep.

Yes, that's right. Being hot! is not a pre-requisite.

There. I've given you some hope.

Dutifully yours,

Mrs. C

Boomerang Kid

Last April, this pretty lady took flight. She's no longer nestled under my wing ... under my watchcare ... in my nest. But in a sense, she'll always be mine. And even though I miss her sunkissed freckles and her ocean blue eyes, I know she's where she ought to be.

In the meantime, I'm choosing to think of her as my Boomerang Kid. Because she'll always come back to me.

Kids do that ... 

Right? 

 

**Feel free to join in the "Boomerang Kid" discussion over in My Community in the sidebar, first BlogFrog widget.

my calling

I don't have a career.

And in my (almost) 21 years of marriage, I have never had a career. I've done a few odd jobs ... provided daycare for a few months, cleaned a few houses ... but I've purposely tried to focus on raising a family.

In five years, it'll all be over. My youngest will be all grown and well on his way to becoming independant.

I can't say I've never become distracted from my goal. I've volunteered too much at a few churches. I've spent too much time with friends. I've been selfish with my time. But as a whole, Shaun and I have kept our eye on the goal. The bullseye of us raising our kids, and not the school system or the babysitter.

As the school year starts once again in a few weeks, I've been reminding myself of our goal to stick it out until the end. Homeschooling a teenage boy can be God's #1 tool for sanctifying me. But I've come to realize that it's worth every second. I don't want to raise a kid that blends in well with the crowd. I want to raise a kid that sticks out because of his unusual, but healthy dose of character. A boy whose Christian beliefs have taken root and have changed the way he looks from other kids.

Of course it's not just homeschooling that keeps me home. I know without a doubt that all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, and loving my husband would go out the window if I were to pick up a career and run with it. I'm simply unable to physically keep up with working outside the home. Granted, that may be because of my health issues. But that simply strengthens my resolve to be a keeper of the home. I know my limitations, and I am simply reminding myself of them as I step into another year of homeschooling.

My limitations are something I've learned to embrace, and not fight against. And if that means less money, and thereby windows without frilly curtains, driving a few clunkers, and limiting our eating out ... then so be it.

I know I'm doing the right thing ... my life's calling.

How 'bout you? What is your life calling? Are you sure of it? Do you rest in knowing you are in the right place, doing God's will for your life, even if all the little details aren't what you'd like them to be?

Wedding Memories

Wow! Not sure exactly where to start on this post, because it was such a full day. Actually, it was a full two weeks! Ashlee came home a couple weeks before the wedding (from Georgia), and we rushed around for getting all the final prep done and getting my place ready for company (lots of company!). I believe we had (at one point) 15 or 16 people residing at my house.

In that two weeks, we:

• Had a wedding shower
• Met with all sorts of people at the church we rented
• Sent out a bajillion emails to the wonderful folks from church and family members that were helping with the details
• Made a power point slide show for the reception (no small feat!)
• Made pew decorations, decorative baskets, etc.
• Tied one million one hundred and fifty little tiny red bows
• Cleaned this, cleaned that, hung curtains, etc.

Those are just a few activities that went on, but you get the point. If you've ever had a daughter that got married, you'll know exactly the type of hustle and bustle that I'm speaking of.

Our Pastor officiated the ceremony, and I will be forever grateful. He and his family have been the chiefest of friends throughout Ashlee's teenage years. Once the official pictures come in, perhaps I'll be able to share a shot or two of them.

As far as ceremonies go, everything went as smoothly as a wedding can go. No flower girl nervous breakdowns. No bridezilla. No tripping down stairs. No cold feet. No ring bearer screaming. No mother-in-law hatin' of the groom. Love you, Dan'l!!!! :))

There was one little part in the ceremony where the flower girls forgot to escort the ring bearer out of the chapel, but if you didn't know it was supposed to happen, you wouldn't know anything was amiss.

There were also only four honor guard cadets, because one cadet forgot a certain part of his uniform (and there will be no discragin' the Air Force uniform!). But that turned out to be for the better, since there was truly only room for four at the front of the chapel. As it was, I nearly got beheaded by a sword as I was sitting in the front row.

Not really.

But I like to be dramatic like that.

The amazing part of the day was that there was peace. The only way you could understand that statement is if you knew our extended families. My parents are divorced and both were present. Daniel's parents are divorced and both were present. Many other family dynamics were a factor, but we had been praying that peace would be imparted.

Some things are just too big for us to handle in our human frailty. And ensuring that everyone behaved themselves was simply too big of a task. So - we prayed. For weeks and months we prayed. And God answered us in a very mighty, gracious way. Yes, there were a few verbal jabs here and there. There were some sour attitudes. Some close relatives of the groom's did not attend. But overall, it came down to it being Ashlee and Daniel's day. The Lord was glorified through them and their gracious attitudes, and peace hovered over us like a soft, puffy, beautiful cloud on a warm, spring day.

Aaaahhhhh!! Refreshing!!!

As you can imagine, giving a daughter away and accepting a new family member isn't exactly easy. I can't say I had full assurance and peace about that until a few days before the wedding. What can I say, other than God is good! I'm not sure it was anything anyone said or did. I believe it was simply a God-given peace that surpassed all understanding.

Most of all, I am hoping and praying that the conduct of my immediate family was and will continue to be a testimony of God's grace to those who are struggling. Because if He can do amazing things within my family ... He can do them within yours.

Blessings and Peace to all of my wonderful, loyal readers!

~Brenda

Mr. and Mrs. W.

There's so much I could say about Ashlee and Daniel's wedding day. And I will, soon. But for now, I think I just want to let the pictures speak for themselves. These are the pics that I took as a photographer. The pics I'll post later are pics that were just for fun and are not as staged. I love their expressions in the pictures of just the two of them. But again .... I'll let the pics speak for themselves.

Enjoy!!

Wedding Whirlwind

Two days until the wedding. A whirlwind is exactly what my house feels like right now. People coming, people going. Beautiful singing voices, practicing for the big day. Like this cutie pie. She's our pianist and vocalist (at times, simultaneously!). She has a beautiful voice. The only thing I don't like about it is the fact that it made me tear up. And if I tear up in my own home, I'm a little concerned about what might happen on the big wedding day. ;) So dear little pianist ... please go easy on me. I'm fragile.

More of the happy couple and activities:

And a teaser of what's to come on Saturday!! These are bubbles that all the guests will shower the newlyweds with on their send off. Cute, huh?

More to come!!!!

~Brenda

Snail Mail, Snot, And The Springs

Snail Mail

In the last couple of weeks, I've gotten back to the old art of letter writing. And sending them snail mail. You know, the kind where you use a pen, jot a few lines down, place it in an envelope, stick a stamp on it, and walk it out to the mail.

Sounds like a pain, huh?

Well, yes. It kind of is. It's harder than whipping up an email and hitting the send button. But it's so much more rewarding. Not just for the recipient, but for the sender. To me, there's nothing better than getting a handwritten note in my mailbox. Even if it's a one-liner. It means someone took the time to sit down and think about me. I hope that's the message I'm conveying when I send my little notes and letters. I just want folks to know I'm thinking of them, praying for them, or to let them know what it is that I appreciate about them.

So try your hand (pun intended!) at old fashioned letter writing like the old Pioneer women on the Prairie used to do! You (and those you send them to) will be glad you did!

Snot

And lots of it, folks! My face has been a faucet dripping with it since Wednesday. Thanks to a friend's suggestion, I'm getting better.

What did she suggest?
She suggested snorting salt up my snout! How silly is that?! Surprisingly, it was a successful suggestion that led to less sniffing, sneezing, and stuffy sinuses! What a sweetie!

Sorry - alliteration bug bit me!

The Springs

If you live in Colorado, you'd know what I meant by the Springs. If not, then I'll tell you I mean Colorado Springs. You know, where the famous Focus on the Family headquarters are ... and the Air Force Academy (that my beloved, future son-in-law graduated from) is? Yeah, that one! That's where I took a little trip to today to retrieve my darling daughters and Peter from (see side bar pics). The best man in the wedding is moving there, so they figured they would help him out by traveling there, unloading the truck, then making the hop to home. Point is -  Ashlee is finally home with us once again! April 24th is two weeks away, and much preparation is needed to get this wedding on the up and up. However, we're together now, and that makes everything so much better. Working together means progress. Working 2,000 miles apart means chaos. Ha! So welcome home, Ashlee! Now let's get to work!

More to come on the wedding plans, and my little life in general. In the meantime, dig out your handy dandy stationery, and jot a note to someone you love. It's hard to find the time! As a mother of the bride, I know this. But sometimes the rewards far outweigh the sacrifice of time.

Until next time,

~Brenda

Psalm 25:11 - A word fitly spoken (or written!) is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. (parenthetical comment mine)

Thoughts Of A Mother-In-Law To Be

Ahem!! Remember this couple? Yeah, the ones getting married in 18 days? Yeah, them. Ashlee will be home on Saturday!!! Sister Jessie is out in Georgia as I "speak" having a week long party with Daniel, Ashlee, and Peter before driving back with Ashlee, Peter, and Daniel's best man, Eric.

Clear as mud? Good!

It's been challenging to plan a wedding so far apart, but I think we've done fairly well. Having said that, the you know what might hit the fan when Ashlee gets here and it dawns on us what we've forgotten. However, if that happens, I'm sure I will be cool, calm, and collected. Because Prairie Girls .... they're always dignified like that, mmmhmmm.

All dresses are bought (but not all have not come to the house yet - including mine), flowers are ordered, cake is ordered, church is reserved, reception is planned. Now if we can get all the decorations made and in order, ready to take to the chapel, I think we'll be doing good.

At least I'd like to think so.

I woke up Monday in a panic that was bigger than Texas, and I determined that it was absolutely necessary for me to put an end to it. The hymn "Moment by Moment" immediately came to my mind, and I've chosen to focus on the lyrics (even though I loathe the tune), and at the same time, asking for grace in time of need. God is faithful, and He has helped me to literally live moment by moment. Granted, that does not mean that I don't do any planning. I still make my lists and check them twice. But I want, nay need, to operate on a moment by moment basis. Any operation that requires keeping track of a lot of details has the potential to make me suffer near panic attacks. Definitely not my forte, and therefore, I am in need of an extra dose of grace and help in my time of need.

Honest and true - I am looking forward to the 24th!! I will see lots of family, friends, take lots of pictures (which is becoming more and more a love of mine) and I get to wear a pretty dress (vain, I know). In a lot of ways, it will be sad, simply because my daughter is moving away - really far away. My husband will "give her away", although if anything ever happened to Daniel, she knows we would be right here to catch her. But the "giving away" is not for the faint. She's been in our care her entire life of nineteen years.  Perhaps this is where Corrie ten Boom's advice to "hold all things loosely, so God will not have to pry them out of my hands" should be heeded. It's not that I am unwilling to let go of her. It's just that, in the letting go, I look down to see rose colored imprints on my palms and fingers. But I know that with time, this too shall pass ...

So come April24th, as I look on, Shaun will take one last walk with Ashlee as his very own, down the petal laced aisle, to meet her bridegroom in holy matrimony. Our little arrow that we have hopefully taken from our quiver of three, shot into this world to make it a better place, and to further His gospel. From that day forward, she will still be our daughter, but she will primarily be Daniel's helpmeet, his confidant, his lover ... and so much more. Such potential to be an arrow that will go far, make an impact, and hit whatever target the Lord gives her to hit. This is my sincere hope and prayer for her. And although it will not happen because of our excellent markmanship skills, I trust it will happen because God has the power to direct our precious little arrow in whatever direction He wishes. I trust Him fully with my little arrow ... in spite of my frail aim.

Much love to both Ashlee and Daniel as they embark on this crazy, exciting, wonderful, and (at times) painful thing called marriage. Always know that you are loved, prayed for, and cherished.

Much love,

Your Mama on the Prairie

A Post To Show How Weird I Am

I've got a wild hair. So here are a few recent happenings that I would normally try and hide, for fear that people would think I was weird. But you know what? I am weird. So here, world. See my weirdness in all it's glory.

• For dinner tonight, I made tuna fish sandwiches, scalloped potatoes, sliced cucumber, and crab/pasta salad. Otherwise known as the "I've been out all day shopping for flower girl dresses, and I have a headache" meal. Sorry honey, I'm weird. I'll do better next time.

• I had a dream a few nights ago that we looked at a piece of property with a mobile home on it. The mobile home was filled with snow, but it was really nice and undamaged, so we were impressed (doesn't take much, does it?). When we walked outside, I was even more impressed at the 360 degree view of the mountains ..... in Kansas. That's just weird.

• I ordered my mother of the bride dress over the internet today. It will arrive at my house on April 15th. When is the wedding, you ask? April 24th. Am I nuts, you ask? Why yes. Yes I am!!! I have no guarantee that the dress will fit, although they did sell my oddball size. Plus - the dress is absolutely gorgeous - and cheap. So I couldn't resist. I am sure it will need altered (at the very least hemmed). Nine days before the wedding. Good thinking, Brenda ... ya' weirdo.

• When we had company last week, I hid my toaster in the hall/laundry closet. After cleaning my house, I looked around with joy and satisfaction at the results .... until I spotted the toaster. "Leave the toaster on the counter. They won't even notice," came a little voice. But I couldn't do it. I cleaned the toaster off, thinking a little spit bath would do the trick. It was no use. Not only did the toaster not look any different, but I think I uncovered even more flaws by wiping it down. So I said, "Be brave, little toaster. Just pretend you're taking a little nap in the closet. When our non-judgmental friends leave, I'll place you back on the counter, and you'll be used and abused, just like always. Nothing will change. Promise."

 Don't believe me that my little toaster had to be brave? Well, thankfully, I was weird enough to document the proof:

Still skeptical as to whether this brave little toaster should have been subject to closet confinement? Just click those pics to see a better view. Trust me. It needed to go sleepy by in the closet ... even if that is weird.

• And lastly ... I actually answered an inquiry on a public message board about how often I shave my legs ... and whether my husband is offended at how often (or shall I say how rare) it is that my razor and leg meet. Well, guess what? I was the weird one of the bunch, because I was the one who shaved more than her husband even cares about. What can I say? I come from a hairy family. I can grow leg hair like three year old cheese grows mold. It's fuzzy. It's thick. It's black. It's ugly. And I cannot go any longer than two days without breaking out the razor. And my hubby? He doesn't even notice. Now THAT is weird. ;) Besides. The last thing Shaun needs is a gourmet meal of tuna sandwiches and cucumbers to be served by a hairy, scary cook on the Prairie.

Now that you know for sure that I am weird and quirky, make me feel better by leaving a comment and letting me know that I am not alone. C'mon. Fess up. What did you do this last week that others might think are a bit on the odd side?

~Brenda

Engagement Announcement

Daniel and Ashlee

April 24th, 2010

This Prairie Mama loves both of you dearly. May you always love one another as Christ loves the Church. We wish you all the best and look forward to many happy years of being one, big, happy family!!!