My New Year's Resolution

If you're a regular reader here, you'll know that I have determined in my very own little heart to write a book this year. I've wanted to do this for quite some time. But frankly, I've been intimidated, and the self-doubts that arise in me are most overwhelming at times.

While I'm not a fan of New Year's Resolutions, I'm making an exception this year. I'm taking the plunge, putting myself out there, taking risks, trusting in my Lord and Savior, and ... writing a book.

I have many ideas and plans for the books (plural!) I want to write. But I quickly narrowed it down to three:

1. A devotional book, with a theme on suffering.
2. A devotional book, with no particular theme (other than Christ centered, obviously).
3. A novel.

I love devotionals, and I seem to have a knack for writing them, and blessing others in the process. So I really leaned towards this idea. The book I would like to write on suffering, would, in my opinion, take a huge amount of planning, prayer, and studying. All of which I am not sure I am prepared for.

The second book would certainly be easier for me to write, but after consulting my best friend (who also happens to be my husband), I could see how I would possibly have trouble getting that type of project published. After all, I am not well-known.

Heck, I'm not known at all!!

I also struggled with the idea of writing a novel. Not because I wouldn't love the process, but because I want what I do to have an eternal effect. Not just for me, in the form of pleasing the Lord and living a life that is not wasted. But in other's lives as well. I wasn't sure that a novel could accomplish all of that, and I've struggled the last couple of months with whether novel writing is a futile undertaking.

I asked myself if writing a novel could lead others to desire a closer relationship with God. Could a fictional story truly glorify God? My fictional story?

Again, after consulting with my best friend, I am convinced that it can. Ok, maybe convinced is too strong. I am hopeful it can and trusting it will.

I am reminded of my sister-in-law, who came to know Christ by reading some Christian fiction that I had loaned her. It was a story about a young lady that was nearly as stubborn as herself, who had to ultimately learn to lean on Christ after an accident that left her blind.

I am also reminded of the many fictional pieces I have read, and the resolve that I have walked away with to live my life for the better, because of what my favorite (or not so favorite) character had shown me.

What better way to encourage my readers to live a life for the glory of God than to give them an example to follow? Or to learn how to heal from past hurts? Or to learn how to deal with difficult people? The list goes on and on.

If you haven't guessed by now ... you're dense!

With God's help, I'm going to write a novel this year!!!!

If that's not the most difficult, wild and crazy resolution I've ever made, I don't know what is! I personally think I'm nuts! But I suppose Noah was deemed nuts also when he started building a monstrous boat in a world that had never seen or felt a drop of rain. And David? What kind of small-statured nut case goes out and fight's a giant with a piddly little sling shot and a few stones?

The kind of nut case who is God fearing, obedient when the task seems impossible (ridiculous even!), and the kind who realizes that it will not be his own strength that wins the battle, that's what kind. Noah and David had what seemed to be impossible tasks. And now so do I.

I can't do it without God's help. But I will do it regardless of who tells me that I can't (this includes myself). I'll do it because God wants me to. I'll do it because with God, all things are possible.

I'm trusting in that truth. I'm trusting in Him to enable me. And I'm trusting that He will be glorified thought it all.

May He increase, while I decrease.

~Brenda

Decisions

My Facebook status yesterday:

Decisions, decisions. I hate 'em.

Jessie's comment on my status:

That's why they invented eenie meenie minie moe.

Not only did that make me smile, but maybe there's something to it! I think I'll try it next time! ;)

~Brenda

P.S. Speaking of decisions, I'll soon be announcing what type of book I'll be writing this next year, so stay tuned!

Eenie, meenie, minie, moe .....

Book Review: The Making of a Madam

I just finished reading The Making of a Madam, by Patsyann Maloney, with Wayne Holmes. Wayne is the author of the book that I contributed to a few years back. You can find that book here.

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The Making of a Madam is a story of turmoil, hardship, and heartache. While growing up in a family of fourteen children, Patsyann's physical, spiritual, and emotional needs went unmet, until she ran away from home. Patsy and her sister eventually went to live with older siblings. But although her physical needs were met, emotional turmoil continued. While still living with her father and mother, she was sexually molested at a very young age by an old man, and she learned at a young age that men would provide a little pocket change in return for sexual favors. Moving in with her older sister should have remedied that situation, but instead, it continued as her brother-in-law continually molested her until her engagement near the end of high school.

Patsy's story takes almost every imaginable turn for the worst. From molestation, to her husband cheating on her with a man, and beyond. Just when I thought the story couldn't get any worse, it does, and soon she is in to full blown prostitution to provide for her children, and then on to being a madam. All in the hope of gaining what her father could never give her.

However, God's grace and mercy go farther and deeper than any imaginable pain, suffering, and sin. When Pasty is incarcerated, she learns (through programs available to inmates) healthier ways of thinking, and for the first time in her life, she sees a possible ending to her tumultuous life.

Because of good behavior, Pasty's time in jail was cut much shorter than her original sentence. Not long after she was set free, she humbly and eagerly gave her heart to Jesus Christ. While that did not instantly make her life and relationships golden, it paved the way for her to reconstruct the relationships with her children, siblings, and others that she hurt along the way.

The Making of a Madam is a true story of human frailty, victory over sin, and Christ's love for us. It's a page turner that will pull at the strings of your heart, and ultimately make you weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice. It's an inspiring read that you won't soon forget.

~Brenda

Christmas!!!

No Mas Christ In Christmas?

I'm taking the time out to remind you (and me!) to slow down enough to keep Christ where He belongs: Right smack in the center of our Christmas.

We're in the hustle and bustle time of the season, where gifts need to be wrapped, Christmas dinner needs to be planned, our houses need to be spiffied, etc, etc. Pressure is high (blood pressure!!), time is limited, and Christ can get bumped to the waiting list, or worse, ushered out of our thoughts all together.

I personally still need to:

Wrap gifts
Clean house (it's a wreck!)
Finish grocery shopping
Make my portion of Christmas dinner
Finish up some secretarial duties
Attend Christmas Eve service

Where is Christ, exactly, in that list that cries "Go, go, go! Faster, faster, faster!"?

Where is Christ in all the Santa talk? In all the commercials we are bombarded with that scream at us to shop, shop, shop, buy, buy, buy!? In all of the programs we must attend, for fear of hurting the feelings of someone we love and care for?

I Corinthians 10:13 says, Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Shop to the glory of God? Prepare food and clean toilets to the glory of God? Give gifts to the glory of God? What does that look like, exactly?

I think it's simply having a heart of service in whatever we do. Service to people, yes. But ultimately service to Christ. He came to serve, and we should strive to serve Him in return.

That means, when you're cleaning the toilet, have a heart of joy, not a heart of inward fussing about how nobody ever helps you with housework.

It means when you shop, don't spend more than you have, and come Christmas morning, give your gift in light of the gift that Christ has given you by coming to this earth, dying for you, and giving you that ultimate gift of eternal life. Your gift to others should be a natural outflowing of your thankfulness of His gift to you.

And it means preferring others above all else. This includes how perfect the food turns out, how picture perfect the house is, and how straight the bow on your gift is.

**Lifts egg nog filled goblet**

So here's to keeping Christ in the forefront of our minds, to welcoming more and more of Christ in our Christmas. And to rejecting the cry of our country and society that says "No Mas Christ in Christmas!"

Let's keep Christ in our Christmas!!!!!

~Brenda

The Joys of Stuff Mart

Have you ever been walking out of Stuff Mart, with three hundred dollars worth of merchandise in your basket, with your head held high, confident of where you parked?

Unfortunately, today I was a tad bit over confident. I was sure (nay, positive!) I parked right outside the south entrance. Problem is, there's really about three aisles that could be considered right outside the south entrance.

So - I picked one. The wrong one.

I only parked about seven parking spots away, of that I was sure. So when I passed the 15th car, you would think I would stop.

Pride does weird things to people.

I finally decided I had no choice but to turn around, all one hundred and eight pounds of me, pushing God only knows how many pounds of groceries.

It became painfully obvious that the Stuff Mart parking lot had a definite uphill slant. And that I am terribly out of shape.

I pushed, I heaved, I smiled at the nice folks giving me the "You're an idiot. I'm so glad I'm not an idiot" look, and started singing "It's the MOST wonderfuullll time of the year."

Not really. But I thought about it.

Just then, a lovely lady popped her head out of her van and said, "Did you lose your car?"

"I did!" I cried, thinking she would help me.

"Oh, you poor thing," she replied. "Don't you have a button you could push that would tell you where it was?"

"No, I'm in my daughter's car, and it's older. So no little button to push. Where do you think we are?! Staples?! You think those stupid easy buttons really do work, punk?"

Ok, those last three sentences never escaped my lips. But again, I thought about it.

Instead, she smiled at me, wished me luck, and I continued up the mountain slightly slanted hill.

Finally, with my heart beating wildly, my nose as red as Rudolph's, and my pride as wounded as could be, I rounded the corner where I could get to another aisle.

"Whew! It's all downhill from here," I thought.

Indeed, it was downhill, and that beat up little Toyota never looked so gorgeous in it's entire 20 year life span.

No matter that it has a bash in the side. No matter that it's faded, and dirty, and old. I fell in love at that moment, for the Toyota was my rescuer. My savior. My heeeeeeeeeroooo!!

'Tis the season to be jolly, folks. I hope you're able to put on your holly jolly Christmas cheer, no matter how hustly and bustly it gets around your place. Remember the Reason for the season, and I'll try and take my own advice!!!

Merry Christmas!!!!!

~Brenda

Goals and Resolutions

**Update

I am on vacation, but I see Annie and Mary would like to be my accountability partners - and I'd like to take them up on it!! So stay tuned, Mary and Annie, and thank you so much for volunteering.

More soon!!

~Brenda

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It's a bit early for this post, but it's on my brain, so here goes:

I am not a fan of New Year's resolutions.

Why?

Partly because I know I'm going to break them, and a resolution is better off never made than to be made and broken. And in my mind, they also have a negative connotation that says, "I'm quitting a bad habit."

Eating less.

Eating less junk food.

Kicking the habit of cigarettes.

Only cussing twice a week. ;)

But goals are different. Goals have a positive ring to them. They help us accomplish a task (sometimes a monumental task), bringing better health, discipline, and hopefully, desired results.

As I said in my last post, I have a goal of writing a book this next year. And here's where the problem lies:

I have no idea how to do that!!! For starters, I have way too many ideas floating around in my head. How do I pick just one, and stick with it - for 365 days!? It seems like a really daunting task, and I need help. Not just from those of you who read my blog, and also happen to be writers (hint, hint!), but from the Lord.

I know my own resolve is going to play a huge part in this. But this is going to require outside help.

And a lot of strength.

Jesus strength.

I pray for strength to write when I have no words to say. I pray I will remain focused on my priorities. And I pray that I will be self-motivated. Because after all, I have no deadlines that are not self-imposed.

In addition to prayer, I intend to ask someone to keep me on track. Check up on me. Ask me how it's going. Ask me how far I've gotten in the book. Even ask to read what I have so far.

Sound an awful lot like accountability? Smell like accountability? Act like accountability?

Must be accountability. **wrinkles nose**

While I don't like the idea of accountability (mostly because it infringes upon my freedom and ability to do what I like with my time), I recognize the need for it, and I recognize my lack of discipline and focus.

What's that? You'd like to volunteer?

Well shucks!! I think that'd be swell. In fact, if you email me, or leave a comment saying you'd like to help keep me accountable, then I'd just love it and you! I do intend to ask a person who I see regularly to be my accountability partner in this. But if I could have a virtual partner also, that would be a double whammy! The more help the better, right?

So, if you're willing and able, just shoot me an email or leave a comment. I'll get back to you asap. And if not, that's okay. I'll stick with the close to home accountability partner. Either way - I'll post my progress right here, once a week, beginning the first week in January.

That's my first deadline. First week in January, I'll post my decision on what type of book it is that I'll be writing. It will most likely be a devotional, a novel, or a compilation book.

Of course, I'll be seein' ya' before the first week in January. So come back often, ya' hear?

~Brenda

A Few More P's

**If you haven't read my last post, you may want to before reading this.

My dryer gave out this morning. Just went kaputt. The only thing it puts out is an atrocious buzz. No heat. No comforting humming. Just BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

We have major medical bills.

I have a goal to write a book in the next year.

I homeschool a boy with learning difficulties.

And as you know, I struggle with chronic illness.

Those are some of the major obstacles in my life. I didn't even mention others that I'd rather not share.

I need a pick me up. Perhaps a piece of chocolate. A poofy pillow? Better yet ... a poofy blankey, pillow, and a plank of chocolate ... a la book.

Or maybe what I need is a large portion of perserverance.

Perserverance.

The word kind of makes me want to run. After all, I'm an American, and I'd like to have it my way, right now, please. I'd like to have my illness (zap!) gone with the swallow of a pill. I'd like that book to be written by tomorrow. I'd like someone to just come deliver a dryer to me, paid in full. Oh, and could you add a washer too? I've not liked mine for quite some time.

The dryer was just the straw that broke this camel's back this morning. After a lengthy discussion last night with Shaun about how to best pay off our medical debt, the last thing I wanted to find on my plate was wet clothes.

I'm reading Luke in my devotions, and I am always amazed at how Jesus prayerfully perservered. When things got too hectic for him, what did He do? He went and hid and prayed. Then He got up, and went about His Father's business. He didn't pull Himself up by His boot straps, He prayed. Asked for strength. Asked for His Father's will to be done. Then He went out in perserverance and the strength that His Father granted Him, and continued His ministry.

I'm not trying to compare my faulty dryer to Jesus' ministry. I'm just making a parallel between what He did and how He dealt with the roller coaster of life and how I need to deal with the roller coaster of life:

With prayer and perserverance.

Sounds easy. But in this world, there is no easy button. If there was, you better believe I'd be running to Staples so fast it'd make your head whirl.

Shame on you, Staples, for getting my hopes up.

Instead, God wants me to first, pray to Him. And second, perservere in my problems.

What would quitting do?

If He quit, we'd be getting what we deserved in eternal damnation.

If I quit, I'd have a boy who can't function in life, a blank slate for a book, and a bad credit score ... all while donning some funky smellin' clothes!

So as I write this, I determine in my heart and my actions to prayerfully perservere in all things that God has decided to grace my plate with. The prayer comes from my heart, the perserverance comes from my actions.

I will write a little bit each day.

I will continue to teach my child.

I will continue to do for my body what it responds best to, even though it is mundane and lacks any eating pleasure whatsoever.

I will shop for a dang good deal on a dryer that will best suit our wants needs.

I will pray!

I will perservere!

And I'll do it all out here on the Prairie, where the buffaloes roam!!!

Yeehaaaw and a Merry Christmas to all my Lovely Lurkers!!!

The Prayin', Perserverin' Little Housewife on the Prairie,

~Brenda

Patience, Perfection, and Peace

Unfortunately, I've been running a tad low on the three P's: Patience, Perfection, and Peace.

Monday thru Friday of last week consisted of being cooped up in the house with the flu. By Friday, I thought I might land in the nut house if I didn't get out and about, and so I gave in to my impatience and went grocery shopping. You should have seen me. I've never been so excited to go to WalMart in all my life.

I normally loathe WalMart. The crowded aisles, customers scowling at each other, slow check out lanes. You know the drill. But the walls of my house were closing in on me at a rapid pace, and I was quickly heading toward the "pit of despair", as Anne of Green Gables would have put it.

So - off to WalMart I went, in spite of my attention drawing cough. I made good time, saved quite a bit of money with coupons from this site, and had a riotous time. I then made my way to a meeting with our Pastor, and then we were back home.

And that's when I started to reap the consequences of my impatience. We've had extremely cold temps here in the last week, and that, coupled with the dry climate irritated my entire respiratory system ... and I'm back to square one. Ok, maybe not square one, but it was definitely a set back.

The good news?

The good news is that I've learned my lesson and won't be going on any shopping excursions until the cough is g-o-n-e GONE. 'Tis not the season for the inability to shop, but we'll make do.

Did I mention I love the internet?

The other good news is that I've been able to enjoy a lot of what I miss when my life is a hurry scurry mess. I've done more journal writing, I've read more, I've made good progress on my embroidery. My Christmas lists are all made, and some of it has even been ordered and on it's way.

And I found this blog, and am thoroughly enjoying it! I'm even considering some fairly drastic changes to make my life more simple. I have a real nack for making life a lot more complicated than it needs to be.

It's called perfectionism and impatience.

I don't think I was born a perfectionist. But my upbringing has taught me to value it above (almost) everything else. And it's enough to kill a person before their time. If you can be a perfectionist and remain patient and peaceful, then more power to ya'. But I cannot.

My perfectionism leads to impatience, because I tend to bulldoze anyone and everything that stands in my way of it. It's an unhealthy obsession that controls me, and I'm giving it up. I'm going to live simply, and simply live. All for the glory of God.

Well, that's the plan anyway.

What do I hope to gain?

I hope to gain peace, and peace for my family.

Did you know that God does not expect perfection? He knows that we are but dust. Imperfect beings who need His help. That's what we are. We are not perfect servants who will never make a mistake, always have our houses spic and span, and never need assistance.

Is that any excuse for laziness and complacency? No - and I know some will take it as that and run with it. But for those of us who err on the side of perfection, it's a great comfort to know that the Lord knows our weaknesses.

So face it, perfection seekers. There is no such thing as perfection. We live in a fallen world, and things are anything but perfect. Perfection is an impossible path we tread that leads to impatience and peace snatching for all people.

So please - this holiday season - do not let perfectionism and impatience steal your peace and the peace of your loved ones. It's not about having all the world has to offer. It's all about what Jesus has to offer. Stay focused on that. On Him. On those you love.

A peace that surpasses all understanding will waft over you, and settle there if you determine in your heart to keep Him in His proper place all throughout the year, and not merely at Christmas time.

And that, my Lovely Lurkers, is the best Christmas gift of all.

Merry Christmas to all, from your little peace seeking, perfection rejecting, impatience killin' houswife on the Prairie.

~Brenda

Book Review: Fearless

Fear is something we all experience, and I am not immune. In fact, I have welcomed fear in my life numerous times, and under numerous situations. In Fearless, Max Lucado addresses the very real, and sometimes ominous presence of fear in our lives ... from fear that God is not real, to fear of violence, fear of not mattering, fear of death, and many other scenarios. Chapter by chapter, he takes what many people in today's culture are afraid of, and compares them to the experiences of those in the Bible. I was amazed at his ability to make such parallel's, bringing these Bible stories and situations to real life, making it easier to identify with the age old, but true, stories of fear and how to deal with those fears.

Max Lucado invites us to fight fear. It's something we all have to do, because it comes into every one of our lives at one time or another. He points out that the one statement Jesus made more than any other is to "Fear not." So if you are struggling with fear, to whatever extent, I would encourage you to pick up this book and read it! Because with Jesus, the conquering of fear is a very real possibility.

The overall point of the book is to begin looking to Jesus to conquer your fears. Have faith in Him, instead of fear of others or situations you are unable to control.

If I was asked to recommend a book to others on Fear, Fearless would be among my choices. However, I didn't find it to be overly profound or deep. I would recommend it to a new Christian, but a well educated, mature Christian may not find it stimulating enough.

~Brenda