Empty Nesting

This Mama Bird on the Prairie has three baby birds. See them over there on the right? ---->

Cute, aren't they?

Unlike most mama birds, I do not and will not push any of my baby birds out of our nest. Mostly because there's no need to. I know they'll all leave on their own, even though Andrew at times looks at me like he would feel really bad for me if he left.

Don't get me wrong. Raising three teenagers can tend to give you a downright craving for the days of empty nesting. There's a lot of emotional pain, heartache, and frustration in raising teens.

But you love 'em anyway.

A lot.

And when they take their first little wing of flight ... that's when mixed emotions can really take you for the flight of your life.

I posted a Facebook status this week that said, "Whoever said, 'If you love something, set it free' can go suck an egg!!"

My poor Facebook friends. They get the brunt of my frustrations at times.

But that is how I have felt. I haven't talked much about the empty nesting that is taking place, because I don't want to hear all of the comments about how we just have to let our kids go. Let them do their own thing.

Cut those apron strings ...

But it's not about cutting apron strings. For me, it's more about that ch-ch-ch-change I talked about earlier. I have done nothing but build and tend my nest since I was 18 years old. I was married at seventeen, and just after my 18th birthday, Ashlee was born. I've been a stay-at-home mom since. I have no education, and little health to go out and get one once my nest is fully empty.

Empty ...

Looking back twenty years ago, I did not dread the change of marriage. Nor did I dread the change of changing diapers. Those were all new and exciting.

Can't empty nesting be new and exciting??

Somebody help me see the light. I have clearly not thought about this enough through the years to prepare myself for the inevitable booting of my birdies.

Such a mixed up combobulation of feelings. I'm so excited for them. And so lost when it comes to the rest of my own life.

As a result, I feel a bit brokenhearted. Yes, that's the easiest way to put it .... brokenhearted. Not like someone has actually broken my heart, but that my heart is just breaking.

Because even though they fly on their own accord, you fear that they are attempting their first flight with unhealthy wings. You are uncertain they know how to find food on their own ...

And whether they'll remember their way back home.

Perhaps it's a little more about cutting the apron strings than I thought.

~Brenda, the brokenhearted Mama Bird

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart ... Psalm 34:18

Shaun and Brenda, Sept. 23, 1989

You know what that means?

It means I'm old!!!

And ...

It means I've been married for 20 years today. I had just posted a status on Facebook this morning about being married for 20 years today, followed up by whining that I just wasn't old enough to be married that long. Ok, maybe I'm not old enough to be married that long. But I wouldn't change anything. I'd get married when I was 17 again in a heartbeat.

Anyway, after posting that status, I found this in my inbox. Gosh ... I feel kind of odd about posting it. I did promise Shaun he could do a guest post. And you're right honey - never again - unless you tell me first what you've got up that dingy sleeve of yours! ;)

So with blushing cheeks, and my other cheeks squirming in my seat, here is Shaun's guest post:

It’s time for you to pay up! You promised me a guest blog post and here it is……….no arguing! (He can get a little bossy sometimes)


Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

In order to clear things up from the start let me say this: I made Brenda promise to let me post something on Prairie Tales without telling her what it was first. I guarantee she will never let me again.

Brenda is my most valuable earthly treasure and the greatest blessing God has given me, other than Himself. She loves selflessly, gives herself away generously, and brings joy to my life that I would never have known without her.

Brenda is a fantastic mother to our children. She has devoted her life to raising them from before they were born. She even stopped smoking cigars! Just kidding honey! Although Brenda was young when she had our girls she gave herself to the hard work of mothering them with a good attitude. I remember times when she was so tired that I wondered if she would pass out, but the kids never lacked for any good thing. Meals were prepared, diapers were changed, the house was cleaned and their father was loved; all with a consistently cheerful attitude.

Brenda is exceedingly generous with her time, her house and her money. At various times early in our marriage we have had her brother, her cousin, and all three of my sisters live with us. As much as I have learned generosity, I have learned it from you, my love.

Brenda exemplifies joy during trials better than anyone I have ever known. She has health problems that most people don’t know about. They don’t know because the problems don’t show on her countenance. She wants to be joyful herself and to have others experience the same joy.

Brenda is my idea of the ideal wife. I thank God regularly for her. There is no way that I deserve a wife like her, she is a gift of grace from the Gracious Giver. She is beautiful physically, she keeps her hair the way I like it even though she likes different styles, she keeps her appearance up on all but the worst health days and she has the most adorable eyes you will ever see. Brenda is the best companion I can imagine. She didn’t like football when we got married, but now she does! She goes places with me when she would rather stay home just because I need a friend.

It occurs to me that after reading this you may think Brenda is a doormat. Ha! Brenda has strong opinions and beliefs. She knows what is right and she is not afraid to let me have it. I need to be redirected often and she does so with a grace and dignity far beyond her years.

So what am I saying with all of this? I’m saying that I love you Brenda, and our twenty years together have been the best years of my life. I am looking forward to the next twenty and more with you. Happy Anniversary!

Through trails and triumph,
Through joy and pain,

From rough times to smooth,
And over again,

His grace will sustain us
With this gift so fine,

I am yours,
And you are mine.

Your Hubby,
Shaun

Is that stinkin' sweet, or what!?

Thanks, honey. I'm glad to be yours ... for the next 20 years ... and beyoooooond!!!!

~Brenda, the blushing bride on the Prairie

Ch-Ch-Ch-Change!

My poor, sweet, Lovely Lurkers. My blogging has been scarce lately!! I've probably lost most of you, but hopefully, I'll win your little hearts back.

Truth be told, family comes before blogging, and family has needed me. So until that changes, a couple of posts a week is what you can expect, rather than the four or five that I was posting.

Ah hem!

Now that we have that straight ...

The winds of change have been blowing out here on the Prairie. In the last couple of months, I've experienced these changes:

• I'm officially empty nesting. Ashlee has gone and gotten her own tree to hug camp under. It's been coming for months, and really, I'm ok with it. Everyone is on good terms. I didn't have to give her the boot. I didn't even want to give her the boot. But I don't suppose that makes it any easier. Perhaps it's a bit hard to swallow, because of everything else that is transpiring. If you're an empty nester, give me a holler. We need to talk. No, you need to talk. I need to listen.
• My mother-in-law was diagnosed with brain cancer. If you've not read about that, just scroll down to the last three or four posts. It's all there.
• There's been a ch-ch-ch-change (or shall I say, decline) in my health, but not much progress in finding a solution. I do go in for some tests this week (and possibly next) that will hopefully give us a better idea of how we can accomplish getting me some more food/nutrition. I'm ready for drastic measures, even if that means more ch-ch-ch-change.
• Shaun has begun seminary classes. You know what that means? It means that I will someday be a Mrs. Pastor. And if that's not a huge ch-ch-ch-change, I don't know what is!!! It's almost funny, really. I feel like Sarah, when she heard people talking about how she would have a child in her old age. She, of course, laughed. I have never laughed out loud about being a Mrs. Pastor. I simply snicker inwardly, and say, yeah right ... me?? Nevertheless, Mrs. Pastorhood is the road I'm treading down, and I am trying to adjust and be supportive. Honestly, most days I'm excited. Other days, I laugh. Hysterically.
• Jessie cut her hair. All of it. Off. Gone. Kaputt. She walked out with hair nearly touching her waist, and came back with hair just a touch below her ear. It's cute!!! And while I like the long hair better, she pulls off a short do pretty well. A lady at church asked, "Did she cry?" I said, "No ... but I think she was trying to make ME cry!" Ha! I didn't cry. But it's more ch-ch-ch-change to get accustomed to, which seems to be my calling as of late. To adjust, adjust, adjust.

There's more, but nothing more I can really share. I know you'll either hope that one day, I'll be able to share, or you will shrug your shoulders, go about your day, and never think of it again.

Either scenario is quite alright with me.

Now all this ch-ch-ch-change talk has worn me out. So I'm going to bed.

I wonder what ch-ch-ch-change I will encounter tomorrow ....

~Brenda

Laughter Still Lives

Laughter, they say, is the best medicine.

Although we are hard pressed, perplexed, and struck down, we are not without joy - and even laughter. Each time I hear Jeanine chuckle, I find myself trying to forever etch the beautiful echo of it into my mind. I love her laugh, and if it's the best medicine, then I pray that she will be filled to the brim with it.

Here at our house, we've also tried to keep it as joyful as possible. When I find little things like this around the house, it helps to keep my pearly yellow's white's a flashin':





Nothing like a little teenage sibling torture to keep laughter alive out here on the Prairie where it seems, at this time, so desolate.

May laughter also live in your heart and home today ...

~Brenda

The Sticktuitiveness of a Family

All I want to do today is post a few pictures of our family time together recently, and assure my readers that, as 2 Cor. 4:8 says ...

We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair

God is with us through these trials we are facing. We are perplexed, indeed. But we are not despairing. In fact, we are hopeful. Not only that Jeanine may make it through this, but that if she does not, we have the hope and promise of seeing her again.

So for now, we just love on her, support her as best we can, and cherish each moment we have with her.

We stick together.

See?

And we do a bit of lovin' on each other too. Taking pictures of babies and children conveys to them that I love them.

Just so ya' know.

I love the sticktuitiveness of our family. I hope it blesses Jeanine as much as it has me the last week.

~Brenda

An Update On Our Jeanine

First, thank you for your comments, well wishes, and prayers.


Second, Jeanine's surgery went well, and she looks well. I was amazed at her color fresh out of surgery. She even looked as though she had lipstick on ... and I'm pretty sure they don't have any cosmetologists working in the OR. :-)


They were able to remove about 94% of the cancer, and that's the good news. The bad news is that it does appear to be a very aggressive type of cancer - the same type that Ted Kennedy had. The prognosis is that she has three to six months if she chooses to refuse the chemo and radiation. If she decides to go ahead with the chemo and radiation, she will have about a year.


We will not be 100% certain whether this cancer is the type they believe it to be until the labs come back.

Having said all of that, we know that her homegoing is in God's hands. The doctors do not determine how long Jeanine has. All they can do is give us their best estimate. I will continue to pray for Jeanine's healing, her complete recovery. Because I believe it's possible and I refuse to give up!

Please do not send me comments and emails saying that I am in denial, because I'm not. The reality of it all hit home with me last night. On the other hand, I don't want to give in to defeat when that's not necessarily what the Lord has called me to. I'm simply saying that Jeanine's fate is up to the Lord, not the doctors ... and I feel very thankful for that.

I am at home for most of today to catch up on laundry, school, and other things. It's therapeutic and necessary (we're all out of underwear!) to have bit of normalcy in my life today. And of course, a blog post is always in my daily schedule if it's a normal day. Mostly because I love to come here and share my struggles, triumphs, frustrations, revelations ... all of it.

My hope is that, through my life ... the life of my family ... you will be able to see the love of Christ. Please don't hesitate to let me know how I can pray for you. I'd like this relationship to be two-way, and I don't wish to be so consumed with my own problems that I can't see anyone else's need.

So ask away. :-)

More to come, and hopefully soon.

~Brenda

We Trust In The Name Of The Lord Our God

As you can tell by the slowing down of posts, we are spending a lot of time with Jeanine (Shaun's mom), Jim (Shaun's dad), and Shaun's sister's before Jeanine's surgery. It is scheduled for tomorrow, early afternoon.

We've spent the last four days hugging each other, laughing, waxing nostalgic, eating lots of food, and crying in our soup together - all good, necessary, and therapeutic.

While we are not one bit prepared to lose Jeanine, we are all keenly aware that it could happen tomorrow. Or in a few months, a year ... we simply don't know what the future holds. So we are thankful for a Savior who loves us, knows what is best for all involved, and will only take her home to Him if it is the best for everyone involved.

Our hearts cry "Not yet, Lord! We need more time!" But ultimately, we do not trust in doctors. Or medicine. We trust in the name of the Lord our God. And whatever happens, we know that God is in control. We trust Him, we trust Him ...

We trust Him.

And you know what else?

If we part ways with Jeanine in the near future, our ultimate consolation is that we will see her again. This is the hope that Christ gives us. Not only the hope of eternal life through His death on the cross to pay for our sins, but the hope of seeing our loved ones again.

And to that, I say ...

Thank you, Jesus.

~Brenda, the blessed little housewife on the Prairie (because I love my MIL, and she loves ME!)

Blogging By The Seat Of My Pants

Lovely Lurkers,

I have ten minutes to write a blog post. But I do love you dearly and want to give you an update, so I will blog - even if it has to be by the seat of my pants.

I finally have a health update. This process has gone so slow the last few months, that you would think I really do live in a sod hut out on the prairie, travel by covered wagon, and have to travel many miles in that covered wagon just to see the doctor.

Ok, I did have to travel many miles. Just not in a covered wagon.

But I digress ...

The new cardiologist has told me that my cardiac problems are not cardiac in nature.

Confused yet?

Me too.

In a nutshell, my stomach problem (gastroparesis) is somehow putting pressure on my heart when I eat, and thereby causing the heart to "jump," or have extra beats. The problem with this, of course, is that I eat like a bird as it is, and struggle to keep my weight to three pounds below the lowest acceptable weight range. So eating less, as he had the gall to suggest, is not really an option for me. At this point, I don't know what the options are, nor do I know for sure who to go see next.

Frankly, I'm not going to go see anyone just yet, as we are in a bit of a crisis mode. My mother-in-law (Jeanine) was diagnosed with brain cancer a couple of days ago. So in essence, I have been demoted. I am low man on the totem pole now. ;-) Her situation is much more serious than mine, and for the next couple of weeks, our time will be spent with her. Comforting her, spending precious time with her, and supporting her in her upcoming surgery. All of the family has been called in, and while it's a bitter-sweet reunion, it's an opportunity for us to all be together - something that doesn't happen very often.

So we will take this time to cherish her, and cherish one another. We don't know what the outcome of this will be. We do know that the cancer originated in the brain, and is localized. There is no other cancer in her body. Having said that, she has been told it is the same type of cancer that Ted Kennedy had. So we know it is serious, and that she is not out of the woods.

We are all a bit dumbfounded, feeling a bit lost, and like we've been hit in the head with a 4x6. But we know that all is under the control of our Lord and Savior, and we are trusting Him with one of our most prized possessions - our mother-in-law, mother, sister, grandmother, and friend -all wrapped up in one darn cute package.

See?

Here she is on our little outing this past Sunday. We're all cooped up in the camper, out on the prairie. Good times, good times...

I confess that I am not ready to start down the road to orphanhood.

I'm a young 37, and she's a young 68. I feel the need for parents, and she feels the need to be a parent. But as I said, we trust in One greater than us. Whose thoughts are not our thoughts, and Whose ways are not our ways. So we are leaving this in His hands, to do with whatever He wishes and desires. Perhaps Jesus is ready to have her home. More ready to have her home than we are to keep her with us.

So we rest in Him, and in the sovereignty of His good will.

I will keep you posted.

Love,

~Brenda