joy in january

When I looked out my dining room window to the north this morning, you know what caught my eye? 

Brown. 

That's it! Brown fences, brown lawns, brown, leafless trees, and mostly brown houses. Even my dog was brown. A droopy, dirty American flag swaying in the wind three houses down seemed to be the only color filling the scenery.

The sky was not brown, but it was gray, and the streets were empty and lifeless ... a mirror reflection of my soul.

For me, it's easy to approach January as "the dead month." Not only does all of creation seem to be dead, but the hype of Christmas has passed, year-end sales are but a memory, and life takes on a routine, mundane feeling. It all leaves me wondering, does Joy in January even exist?

It does, of course. And Ruth Harms Calkins sums up the root of the problem beautifully in her poem simply titled January:

It's January, Lord –

the drab, dreary middle –

and my thoughts

are as drab as the miserable month. 

Does everybody hit a January slump,

 or am I the only one?...

The first week wasn't too bad;

there were Christmas thank-yous to write...

a few resolutions to store away...

the huddle of year-end sales. 

But thank-you notes bring no returns,

and resolutions are quickly broken,

and marked-down trinkets fast lose appeal. 

When you said, "Behold, I make all things new,"

did you forget January, Lord? 

Or, in January, do I sometimes forget you?

I was seriously diggin' this poem, right up until that last line! You see, nothing has changed since Christmas ... except for my focus. 

Jesus is still the light of my salvation ... but I forgot. 

He is with me in times of trouble ... but I forgot. 

He will hear me in my time of need if I will humble myself and call on Him ... but I forgot. 

He has been and continues to be my help ... but I forgot. 

Will you come along side me and resolve to remember the Lord's promises through the month of January? 

Let's remember that He has always been and always will remain faithful. Let's remember His kindness toward us. Let's refuse to give in to our bleak, midwinter feelings, and simply remember Jesus and all He has accomplished, is accomplishing, and will accomplish for us. 

Has His mercy ceased forever?
         Has His promise failed forevermore?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
         Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?  Selah 
 And I said, “This is my anguish;
         But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
I will remember the works of the LORD;
         Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
I will also meditate on all Your work,
         And talk of Your deeds.
Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;
         Who is so great a God as our God?

~Psalm 77:8-13 (emphasis mine)

garbage out, goodness in

The mind is a powerful thing.

What we put into it will always work it's way out. Out of our mouth, out of our eyes, in the way we look at others ... it affects the way we treat others, and the way we respond to the way others treat us.

That's why it's so important to limit the ample supply of garbage that gets into our heads. It's everywhere. TV, internet, books, video games, even something as simple as a restaurant slogan.

I've recognized my own need to declutter, refocus, and renew my mind. So for the last week (ah! the reason I've been rather quiet!), I've been working on laying out in written form a plan to renew my mind. It's nothing but a Word document that lists specific (sinful) thought patterns that I've developed, along with Scripture (always right thinking!) beside it.

I don't have any big plan except to keep the worksheet handy throughout the day, and especially during the times I am more susceptible to spiral downward in my thinking (usually when I'm not feeling well).

I don't expect overnight change, but I do expect it to make a gradual difference in my life. I'm actively replacing bad thoughts with right thoughts - my thoughts with God's thoughts. I'm tossing out the garbage, and pouring His goodness in.

Proverbs 23:7 teaches, "For as [one] thinks in his heart, so is he." The only way for me to become more Christ-like is to think more like Christ thinks. So, this is my attempt to set my mind on the right path, stop giving into every emotion in the book, stop making excuses for the way I am, and let God have control over my mind. 

I fully expect God to do His part, if I will do my part. So as I study, please pray for me, that I will be willing to change, that God's Word will permeate my heart so thoroughly that my actions begin to radically change, and that my motivations will become more and more pure. And that God will ultimately use my life for His glory. 

That's a lot of work. 

Only God could do that. 

blog announcement!

We interrupt this blog to bring you an announcement! This announcement is a service of the Prairie Tales blogging network. Please remain seated until this announcement is completely finished. Your patience is appreciated.

Ok, seriously!! I'm excited to let you know that my new blog, The Broken Quill, is up and running!! No, this does not mean that Prairie Tales is shutting down, although there will be some changes made to it in the near future. It just means that I saw the need to begin a writing blog, and I didn't see a way to mesh Prairie Tales in with it.

So Prairie Tales will remain my family blog, while The Broken Quill will be my more professional, straighten up and fly right, and try not to be so sarcastic kinda blog.

Darn you, professionalism.

I would love it if you would head over there and take a little look see. It has an awesome comment layout, where I can directly reply to the comments that you leave, and you can subscribe to any follow up comments by email.

This is called .... benefits of a WordPress blog. :-)

Not that I'm biased or anything.

Ahem! See you over there!

the fall of a sparrow

Matthew 10:29-31 

Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

As Andrew and I took a walk around the block today, I was doing what I normally do - my head hung low, oblivious to everything going on around me. It's a bad habit I've formed. A wise person would walk with their head high, enjoying the weather, the trees, the beautiful mountainous scenery that I've been blessed to have outside my front door. But alas, I choose to hone in on my dingy tennis shoes.

I was chatting to Andrew about the next school year, discussing which classes he would like to take outside of homeschooling when I noticed an odd looking form lying on the sidewalk. At first I thought it was a child's toy. But the closer I got, I realized it was a bird. A baby bird, too small and young to have grown any feathers ... and lifeless. His gray, limp body, topped with a bright yellow beak lay sprawled out before me in a pathetic, twisted manner. It was then that I lifted my head, in search of the mama.

No sign of her.

I'm sure the bird was snuggled safely in its nest in the nearby tree, along with siblings, their mother hovering over them ... and then BAM! Spring Prairie wind, and snow (yes, I said snow!), and freezing temperatures out of nowhere came rushing in, catching the mama off guard.

While there was nothing I could do for the bird, I contemplated scooping it up, and giving it a proper burial. Instead, I continued walking, and rounded the next corner. As I put one foot in front of the other, I thought, God knows about that bird. Not one sparrow falls without Him knowing about it, and that sparrow is no exception.  

It dawned on me at that moment that, although I cared about that bird and especially its mama, God cared more. I think that bird was a pretty special bird. But God loved that sparrow more than I could. He created it!

He also created me ... and His word tells me that I am of more value than that sparrow. In fact, I am of more value than many sparrows. If that bird had any feathers, I'm sure God knows exactly how many. Just as He knows how many hairs are on my head. This is no small feat, folks. The hairs on my head are constantly changing in number. I find them everywhere in the house, the car, my purse. I shed like a chemo patient. But God knows exactly how many are still attached. At all times. Simply because He cares even about the little details of my life. Including whether I stumble across a fallen bird that reaffirms His love for me.

If that won't make a person hold their head high, I don't know what will.

~Brenda

Loving the Unlovely

I love to love lovely people. 

But we as Christians are called not only to love the lovely, but to love the unlovely. This is no small feat, and for me, it requires outside help. Divine help.

A few observations about lovely and unlovely folk:

• Jesus' ministry was full of compassion and love for unlovely people. And aren't we all, in our sinful state, unlovely?

• Lovely people don't require a whole lot from us. They're pleasant to be around. The don't quarrel. They are not prideful. They even do their best to minister to you. What's not to love?

• Ahh, but unlovely people. They're needy, sometimes brash, many times prideful, arrogant, self-seeking, self-promoting, and often playing immature games that I don't want any part of.  

"WWJD?" comes the haunting question.

Jesus would love them, in spite of their unloveliness. Just as He does with me, when I am unlovely. Am I not prideful to be thinking that I never mirror any of those unlovely traits listed above? I do, in fact at times have the same sinful patterns.

And who am I to deny others in need of  Christ's love, whether it be in a lovely or unlovely state?

I Corinthians 13 says that if I have faith enough to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. Can I, in my own strength, have love for annoying, rude, impatient, self-seekers? If not, I am nothing.

Insert Diving help here

How do we receive Diving help? By not being too prideful to ask for it, being willing to do as He asks, and remembering that with God, all things are possible.

Do you have someone unlovely you need to be loving? I pray today that I will have the know-how and the strength to love the unlovely around me. I pray the same for you my friend, and I have prayed that God would bring  just the people He wants to this very infamous Prairie Tales blog today. After all, if He's powerful enough to help us love the unlovely, He's powerful enough to direct our mice to the right blogs. ;)

Love to all my Lovely (and unlovely) Lurkers,

~Brenda

Time. And A Bottle.

Shaun's parents came over for lunch after church last Sunday. Jeanine was asking me how I was doing, and if I needed any help before my upcoming trip this Thursday (which is now tomorrow, holy cow!).

I said, "I'm doing okay. But if you have any time in a bottle, I'd appreciate a loan."

She said, "Did you say time in a bottle, or time and a bottle?"

:-))

She knows when I'm stressed and have too much on my plate, bless her heart. Nice of her to lighten my load by way of a little humor, if only for a few minutes.

I have to admit that it is sometimes tempting to turn to something in a bottle. And I'm not talkin' about time. No, I'm speaking of something a little more heavy duty. A little more comforting than time would be.

Post-surgery comforting, if you know what I mean.

But I know that's the wrong source to rely on. See, when my schedule gets busy (too busy!), I tend to crowd out God and my time with Him, rather than hover closer.

Why do I do that!!?? **beating myself over the head

Because I'm human, and frail, and but dust.

But still!! You would think I would learn my lesson. It hasn't been that long since the last upheaval of my schedule. And I learned this lesson last time. Stay close to God during times of stress. Stay close to God during times of stress. Stay. Close. To. God. During. Times. Of. Stress.

Am I really that frail and prone to wander?

Apparently ... I am.

So I hereby turn away from my own reliance. My own strength. My own ability to do anything without the help of my Savior.

I don't need time in a bottle. Or time and a bottle.

I need focus.

Now, please. Whatever your challenge is today, don't turn to time. Don't turn to a bottle. Turn to the Lord. Therein lies your true help, your true comfort, and your true peace.

In God let us strengthen ourselves. The gracious presence of God, his power, his promise, his readiness to hear prayer, the witness of his Spirit in the hearts of his people; these are the secret of his tabernacle, and in these the saints find cause for that holy security and peace of mind in which they dwell at ease.

The psalmist prays for constant communion with God in holy ordinances. All God's children desire to dwell in their Father's house. Not to sojourn there as a wayfaring man, to tarry but for a night; or to dwell there for a time only, as the servant that abides not in the house for ever; but to dwell there all the days of their life, as children with a father. Do we hope that the praising of God will be the blessedness of our eternity? Surely then we ought to make it the business of our time.

This he had at heart more than any thing. Whatever the Christian is as to this life, he considers the favour and service of God as the one thing needful. This he desires, prays for and seeks after, and in it he rejoices. (Ps 27:7-14)

~Matthew Henry Commentary, emphasis mine

A Few More P's

**If you haven't read my last post, you may want to before reading this.

My dryer gave out this morning. Just went kaputt. The only thing it puts out is an atrocious buzz. No heat. No comforting humming. Just BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

We have major medical bills.

I have a goal to write a book in the next year.

I homeschool a boy with learning difficulties.

And as you know, I struggle with chronic illness.

Those are some of the major obstacles in my life. I didn't even mention others that I'd rather not share.

I need a pick me up. Perhaps a piece of chocolate. A poofy pillow? Better yet ... a poofy blankey, pillow, and a plank of chocolate ... a la book.

Or maybe what I need is a large portion of perserverance.

Perserverance.

The word kind of makes me want to run. After all, I'm an American, and I'd like to have it my way, right now, please. I'd like to have my illness (zap!) gone with the swallow of a pill. I'd like that book to be written by tomorrow. I'd like someone to just come deliver a dryer to me, paid in full. Oh, and could you add a washer too? I've not liked mine for quite some time.

The dryer was just the straw that broke this camel's back this morning. After a lengthy discussion last night with Shaun about how to best pay off our medical debt, the last thing I wanted to find on my plate was wet clothes.

I'm reading Luke in my devotions, and I am always amazed at how Jesus prayerfully perservered. When things got too hectic for him, what did He do? He went and hid and prayed. Then He got up, and went about His Father's business. He didn't pull Himself up by His boot straps, He prayed. Asked for strength. Asked for His Father's will to be done. Then He went out in perserverance and the strength that His Father granted Him, and continued His ministry.

I'm not trying to compare my faulty dryer to Jesus' ministry. I'm just making a parallel between what He did and how He dealt with the roller coaster of life and how I need to deal with the roller coaster of life:

With prayer and perserverance.

Sounds easy. But in this world, there is no easy button. If there was, you better believe I'd be running to Staples so fast it'd make your head whirl.

Shame on you, Staples, for getting my hopes up.

Instead, God wants me to first, pray to Him. And second, perservere in my problems.

What would quitting do?

If He quit, we'd be getting what we deserved in eternal damnation.

If I quit, I'd have a boy who can't function in life, a blank slate for a book, and a bad credit score ... all while donning some funky smellin' clothes!

So as I write this, I determine in my heart and my actions to prayerfully perservere in all things that God has decided to grace my plate with. The prayer comes from my heart, the perserverance comes from my actions.

I will write a little bit each day.

I will continue to teach my child.

I will continue to do for my body what it responds best to, even though it is mundane and lacks any eating pleasure whatsoever.

I will shop for a dang good deal on a dryer that will best suit our wants needs.

I will pray!

I will perservere!

And I'll do it all out here on the Prairie, where the buffaloes roam!!!

Yeehaaaw and a Merry Christmas to all my Lovely Lurkers!!!

The Prayin', Perserverin' Little Housewife on the Prairie,

~Brenda

Patience, Perfection, and Peace

Unfortunately, I've been running a tad low on the three P's: Patience, Perfection, and Peace.

Monday thru Friday of last week consisted of being cooped up in the house with the flu. By Friday, I thought I might land in the nut house if I didn't get out and about, and so I gave in to my impatience and went grocery shopping. You should have seen me. I've never been so excited to go to WalMart in all my life.

I normally loathe WalMart. The crowded aisles, customers scowling at each other, slow check out lanes. You know the drill. But the walls of my house were closing in on me at a rapid pace, and I was quickly heading toward the "pit of despair", as Anne of Green Gables would have put it.

So - off to WalMart I went, in spite of my attention drawing cough. I made good time, saved quite a bit of money with coupons from this site, and had a riotous time. I then made my way to a meeting with our Pastor, and then we were back home.

And that's when I started to reap the consequences of my impatience. We've had extremely cold temps here in the last week, and that, coupled with the dry climate irritated my entire respiratory system ... and I'm back to square one. Ok, maybe not square one, but it was definitely a set back.

The good news?

The good news is that I've learned my lesson and won't be going on any shopping excursions until the cough is g-o-n-e GONE. 'Tis not the season for the inability to shop, but we'll make do.

Did I mention I love the internet?

The other good news is that I've been able to enjoy a lot of what I miss when my life is a hurry scurry mess. I've done more journal writing, I've read more, I've made good progress on my embroidery. My Christmas lists are all made, and some of it has even been ordered and on it's way.

And I found this blog, and am thoroughly enjoying it! I'm even considering some fairly drastic changes to make my life more simple. I have a real nack for making life a lot more complicated than it needs to be.

It's called perfectionism and impatience.

I don't think I was born a perfectionist. But my upbringing has taught me to value it above (almost) everything else. And it's enough to kill a person before their time. If you can be a perfectionist and remain patient and peaceful, then more power to ya'. But I cannot.

My perfectionism leads to impatience, because I tend to bulldoze anyone and everything that stands in my way of it. It's an unhealthy obsession that controls me, and I'm giving it up. I'm going to live simply, and simply live. All for the glory of God.

Well, that's the plan anyway.

What do I hope to gain?

I hope to gain peace, and peace for my family.

Did you know that God does not expect perfection? He knows that we are but dust. Imperfect beings who need His help. That's what we are. We are not perfect servants who will never make a mistake, always have our houses spic and span, and never need assistance.

Is that any excuse for laziness and complacency? No - and I know some will take it as that and run with it. But for those of us who err on the side of perfection, it's a great comfort to know that the Lord knows our weaknesses.

So face it, perfection seekers. There is no such thing as perfection. We live in a fallen world, and things are anything but perfect. Perfection is an impossible path we tread that leads to impatience and peace snatching for all people.

So please - this holiday season - do not let perfectionism and impatience steal your peace and the peace of your loved ones. It's not about having all the world has to offer. It's all about what Jesus has to offer. Stay focused on that. On Him. On those you love.

A peace that surpasses all understanding will waft over you, and settle there if you determine in your heart to keep Him in His proper place all throughout the year, and not merely at Christmas time.

And that, my Lovely Lurkers, is the best Christmas gift of all.

Merry Christmas to all, from your little peace seeking, perfection rejecting, impatience killin' houswife on the Prairie.

~Brenda

Drive by blogging.

It's what I do now days.

Why so hurried? Well, here's a few reasons:


***I am in the process of getting ready for company. Dan'l -- the boy my daughter is head over heels in love with (her words) is coming to see us on Friday, and will spend the weekend with us. He plans to meet some of the extended family, go to church with us, and simply get to know each other a little better. Obviouly not a long visit, but we are really looking forward to it. If you want to get to know Dan'l better, go here.

***Shaun is preaching on Sunday, because our Pastor is out of town. This doesn't require much of me, except giving him time to study, more praying and ... wringing of hands. Maybe not all in that order.

***Shaun's sisters just visited from out of town. They came to see Jeanine, of course. And by the way, Jeanine is doing well, considering. Since they removed the brain tumor, and now that she is off of all meds from the surgery, she is looking like her normal self. And oh how I love her little self. Now she is undergoing chemo and radiation. She did have a struggle with the chemo at first, but they've added a med that helps her keep the chemo (and her lunch!) where it ought to stay.

***Shaun and Andrew will be going hunting in a week or so. This usually means lots of preparation, and this year is no different. I'm excited for them, because it will be just the two of them this year. I can't wait to hear the survival stories, and more than that, I can't wait for my freezer to be full. No pressure, guys. ;) And by the way, if you're reading this, and you are shocked and appalled that we would be hunters ... keep it to yourself, and don't open that can of worms. You know ... for the sake of keeping peace on this blog. Ha!

***Secretary work. If you remember, I'm the secretary for our little church plant that we've been attending for about three years now ... or maybe it's four! While this does take a bit of my time, it's worth it. I can't say that I enjoy all of the work, but I always enjoy helping. And I actually do enjoy much of the work. Especially if it involves emailing, writing, helping missionaries, etc. All right down my alley!

***Doctor's appointments and procedures. My life has been full of them lately. However, this week ... no appointments or procedures scheduled!! Woot woot! I do have to start a new med, which I have so far cowered away from. I'm sorry!!! But I know it's not going to sit well with my tummy, and yet ... if you want to be cured, you have to do what the doctor says. You can't go in and tell him his suggestion didn't work if you haven't tried it. So there ya' go. Do I have to take the pill? Yes, I have to take the pill. Somebody give me some motivation here, because that's not quite cutting it for me. I am, at times, a horrible patient. Especially when it comes to conventional medicine, aka pill popping at it's finest. Bluh.

So there you have it. My life the last week. It's hectic, it's stressful, and it's awesome all at once. This is what God has put on my plate right now, and I am more and more accepting of whatever it is that He gives me. Note that I didn't say I was good at managing it all! I said I was good at accepting it. But I suppose that is a start. Because years ago, my tendency would have been to simply run from it all. Whether that be ignore it, move away from it, or get severely depressed from it all.

After reading the above, you might ask what it is that is really all that stressful. Well, to start, I didn't name everything and every challenge me or a loved one is going through. But yes, a lot of this is just "life."

Some people deal with everyday challenges better than others. And I would say that I have never really learned to deal with everyday stress and what most people would consider "normal." Add to that the health problems (of me and my family), and the stresses that our close family is going through right now, and it's a prescription for anxiety, depression, and ... running.

But don't worry. I'm not going anywhere.

I won't run. I won't hide. I will deal, with God's help, with what He has given me to deal with. He is the one in control. It's my job to trust Him, ask Him for help, and draw strength from Him.

Is it not good that we have that kind of Savior? Folks that "trust" in Buddha ... in dead gods ... they have no hope. Nobody to draw strength from. No living well to quench their very real spiritual thirsts.

I am thankful for the opportunity to trust in Him. And without the troubles, why would I need to trust Him? Lean on Him?

I wouldn't.

So thank you, Lord, for the troubles. Help me to trust in You, not in my own strength. Help me to only be refreshed by You, and not turn to what the world would tell me quenches my thirsts and longings. So many distractions, and yet You are the One who satisfies and is so faithful. Help me to keep my eyes focused on you ... whether the waves be calm or tumultuous.

Amen!

~Brenda

The Comfort of Storms

We heard a fantastic sermon at church yesterday. I felt as though my trust in God had been renewed and the flame of Passion for Him had been fanned until it became more like a forest fire than a little flicker.

I still feel that way today.

Spiritually, I am good. Physically, I'm fed up!

I just want to say that those of you whose hearts beat as regular as a time clock, don't take it for granted. Those of you who can eat anything your heart desires and your stomach, like clock work, digests it as though you've given it exactly what it longs for, enjoy it. Because if it ever goes away, you'll realize what an ungrateful little twerp you were for not thanking your lucky stars God for the awesome, rhythmic working of your bodily functions.

Now, having had my little temper tantrum for the day, I can honestly say:

I'm content.

No, seriously. I am. Not physically, of course. But spiritually, I resemble the tides of water that Jesus rebuked in Mark 4:35-41.

They're calm.

They're peaceful.

And Jesus is their master.

Jesus rebuked me yesterday, just as he rebuked those winds and waves - and his disciples, for not trusting in Him. For not remembering that God was with them, that He is in control, and that He knows each and every wave of trial that comes into my life. He not only knows it, He orchestrates it.

That didn't used to be comforting to me. It made me feel as though God was mean, ready to strike me dead at any wrongdoing.

But I've come to realize that when the tidal waves come crashing against my boat with a raging force, there's great spiritual growing to be done. And God cares far more about my spiritual growth than He does about my comfort levels.

I, as an American, love comfort. Comfort food. Comfortable clothes. Comfortable temperatures. Comfy, comfy, comfy!!!

And sometimes I feel like standing on the roof of my little sod hut comfy house, only to shake my fists, and shout "Don't you care? I am not comfortable!!! Please just make my heart beat right!!"

Kind of like when the disciples said, "Hey!! Wake up!! Don't you care that we're all going to die?!"

But Jesus of course knew they were safe, because He was the master of their storm. He carefully planned it, calmly executed it, and confidently controlled it.*

Just as He is doing with my life.

Am I fed up with my stubborn heartbeat and faulty stomach?

Absolutely.

Am I rejoicing that God has a plan, and is working all things together for my good?

Absolutely.

And that's what I really want to shout from the top of my big, comfy house. Because today, my Lovely Lurkers, is the first day that I can truly say that ... and mean it.

~Brenda

*taken from a message preached by Pastor Mike DeVries

In The Shadow Of His Wings

God gave me this verse last night before I laid my head down on my pillow:

Psalm 57:1

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, Until these calamities have passed by.

Are you in the midst of trouble? I seem to be drowning up to my neck in calamities, as are many of my family members.

Notice in this verse that the Psalmist was making a choice to take refuge under His wings. It didn't just happen. His choice to take shelter under the wings of the Lord until his calamities passed was on purpose, deliberate.

And that's what I am choosing to do. Taking shelter until my troubles have passed. It might be two weeks. It might be a lifetime, but choosing to stay in the shadow is vital.

Faulty heartbeats, broken families, loss of employment ... these and all calamities should make our feet swift to take shelter under the wings of the Lord.

Why would we deliberately choose to be out from under that protection and comfort?

I don't know the answer to that, other than that's what fallen human beings do.

But let's not give in to that fallenness. Let's resolve to take shelter. To hunker under His wings, where safety resides. It won't instantly sweep your troubles aside. But what a comfort it is to be under that wing of His ...

Sheltered.

Warm.

Peaceful.

Just make the choice to take cover.

You'll be glad you did. :-)

~Brenda

Through Rivers and Fires

I've been working on a pictorial post all throughout the day, but am having issues (or ithues, as my kids would say).

So instead, I'll share some thoughts about ... well ... about what I'm thinking.

This waiting game with the doctor is proving to be rather, shall we say ...

Ahem!

A pain in my rear.

While I was dusting today, I ran across an old card that a dear friend sent me when my Grandma died back in April. In it, she encouraged me with this verse from Isaiah 43:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.

Of course, I know in my head that God is always with me, that whatever waters I pass through, whatever fire I walk through, He will be right there with me. Even in the valley of the shadow of death, He has promised to be with me. But the reminder helped it sink into my heart.

Waiting is hard. Having heart problems is hard. Not feeling like I can eat is hard.

But Rivers and Fires are always worse if you go through them alone.

Good thing I'm not alone, huh? Good thing that a friend loves me enough to to do some reminding. Good thing I have a husband who assures me he will never leave me, no matter how sick I get.

So while I am not rich in much of what the world tells me is wealth today, I am excessively wealthy in comfort from my Lord, in assurance of love from my husband, and in the companionship of friends and extended family.

And that, my Lovely Lurkers, is true wealth.

Walking through Rivers and Fires is scary ... at times terrifying!

Walking through Rivers and Fires with God, and friends, and loved ones by my side ... well it's still scary!

But it's bearable.

And for that I will be forever grateful.

~Brenda

Comfort Food

There's comfort food ... and then there's comfort food.

Food for the belly, and food for the soul.

Food for the belly is a sore subject with me because of this, but food for the soul?

Now there's a topic I can discuss!

Last night, I was playing the piano for Shaun while he was setting up a new printer. You could say I was serenading him. He likes it when I tickle the ivories for him. It blesses him, relaxes him, and lightens his heart, particularly if I play hymns.

But as is typical of ministering, the one who ministers very often gets a blessing as well ...

As my hands softly played, my heart became lighter and lighter as I silently sang these words:

Every joy or trial
Falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial
By the Sun of Love.

We may trust Him fully
All for us to do;
They who trust Him wholly
Find Him wholly true.

Chorus:

Stayed upon Jehovah,
Hearts are fully blest;
Finding as He promised,
Perfect peace and rest.

(Taken from Like A River Glorious, by Frances Havergal and James Mountain)

What struck me in that last verse was the idea that trusting was a choice we make. We can either trust Him wholly, and find perfect peace and rest, or we can choose the imperfect route of anxiety and distrust.

I don't do this perfectly, so my peace and rest are not perfect. But it was a good reminder of what to strive for ... what direction to go in.

Who or what will your put your trust in today as a result of your trials?

Whatever trial that falleth from above, I hope you choose to trust Jesus wholly, so that your heart can be fully blest.

Comforted.

Perfectly Peaceful.

Like a glorious river.

~Brenda

Psalm 34:8 - Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

Self-Satisfaction

On Wednesday's, Shaun teaches a class based out of our church. We're going through the book Don't Waste Your Life, by John Piper. In it, Piper says:

The really wonderful moments of joy in this world are not the moments of self-satisfaction, but self-forgetfulness.

What types of things do you pursue when trying to obtain self-satisfaction? Some people will seek food, possessions, or various ways to obtain more self esteem. Others will seek sports or another passion. The list of pleasures could go on and on, and it's very easy to get swept up into the false perception that these things can provide the type of satisfaction we are seeking.

For the second time this week, Luke 17:33 comes to mind:

Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.

I don't know about you, but I could use some work on living a more selfless life. What a world we would live in if we really believed that selflessness was the way to obtain self-satisfaction.

Where is self-satisfaction found, ultimately?

In Jesus Christ, God's Son. That's what He came to earth for. To live a sinless life, and to ultimately give His life for you and me, so that we can live eternally with Him. We can also have a close relationship with Him here. On earth.

And that's satisfying.

I don't know where you are spiritually, my Lovely Lurkers. But if you're reading this blog today, and do not have the satisfaction that only Christ can bring you, I pray that you will open your heart and life to Him who can quench the thirsting in your soul. You won't find the joy, peace, and satisfaction that you're seeking anywhere else.

Trust me. I've tried.

Are you running through life in the pursuit of purpose, peace, joy ... satisfaction? God made you to crave "something more." Why not turn to Him to help you find what you're looking for?

To fill the void in your heart.


~Brenda