My mother-in-law is quite literally on her death bed.
Strangely enough, I haven’t thought a lot about what it will be like without her. For the last 18 months, I’ve been honing in on what to do for her in the here and now, and simply trying to enjoy every meal, every laugh, every joke she tells, every glimpse of orneriness she exhibits, every praise to the Lord she expresses …
Until this morning, when I woke up with the stark realization that we were facing the end. My mind wandered to what the next Christmas, Thanksgiving, and April 3rd (her birthday) will be like.
For the first time, I understood that when I turn 39 next week, there will be no one to ask me, “Whatchya’ want for your birthday, cutie?” followed by a card with money in it because she couldn’t decide what to get me.
I will never again hear her sing “You are my son, Shaun, my only son, Shaun. You make me happy when skies are gray …” to my husband.
She will never watch Andrew pitch another ball …
I don’t know how much longer she will live, but in so many ways, we’ve already lost her. Just like I lost my Grandma many months before she died. She was there physically. But she was somewhere else. Someone else.
So today, my husband and I begin the process of becoming orphans. A journey where we will no longer have parents, but where we are the parents. Where the younger generation begins looking to us for the same wisdom and knowledge we have sought from our parents.
And while I know that it is “better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all,” I also know that that it hurts like a cactus prick in the bottom of my foot.
It stings.
And only time will heal it.
I love you, Jeanine Coats. And I miss you already.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
immovable me
“Your mother-in-law has terminal brain cancer.”
“Uncle Ted died.”
“Your father-in-law had a heart attack.”
“Honey, I got in a wreck. I’m ok, but the car doesn’t look so good.”
These are all things that have been said to me in the last year and a half or so. Each time I heard these life-altering phrases, anxiety welled within me. I felt panicked. Overwhelmed. Beside myself.
When news came of my mother-in-law, I wondered if it could really be true. Just the day before, we went on a picnic. She seemed fine, if a bit tired …
To read the rest of this post, please join me at Bibledude.net
“Uncle Ted died.”
“Your father-in-law had a heart attack.”
“Honey, I got in a wreck. I’m ok, but the car doesn’t look so good.”
These are all things that have been said to me in the last year and a half or so. Each time I heard these life-altering phrases, anxiety welled within me. I felt panicked. Overwhelmed. Beside myself.
When news came of my mother-in-law, I wondered if it could really be true. Just the day before, we went on a picnic. She seemed fine, if a bit tired …
To read the rest of this post, please join me at Bibledude.net
Friday, April 1, 2011
Two Peas in a Pod
I have had the privilege of having a little company lately ...
These two peas in a pod are together quite often. In the bright pink jacket (and purple sweater) is Gracelyn, my niece. She's almost two and has the spunk that typically goes along with that number! Or does that come from her mom? Hmm. Maybe her auntie. Well, anyway. Not only does she have spunk, but she also knows the sounds that every animal I can conceivably think of makes.
You say, "Gracie, how do dogs go?" and she will quickly follow with a "Woof! Woof!" etc.
Now Jocelyn, the blondie in the light pink jacket, is Gracie's friend that her mom babysits. She's also two ... and she also has spunk! I'm not sure if she knows her animal sounds or not, but as I was quizzing Gracelyn about how pigs, cows, and ducks go, one of Gracelyn's sisters said, "Ask Gracie how Daddy's go."
So I did.
"Gracie, how does Daddy go?"
Blank stare.
"How does Daddy go?"
Two blank stares.
Then Jocelyn threw her hands palm up and said in a voice that made me feel like I needed to go back to Kindergarten, "Daddy go work!"
Silly me. Of course Daddy goes to work!
We won't reveal what Gracie normally says when you ask her how Daddy goes, because, well ... that's a family secret. But at least one record has been set straight ....
Daddy. Go. Work!
And now that we all have that down pat ... here are a few pics of the two peas.
Gracie wasn't sure how she felt about the snow sprinkles.
After we came in to warm up ...
Eenie Meenie Minie Moe. Which one is the sassy one?
My, what big teeeth you have!
My, what big eyes you have!
Play ball!!
The end.
These two peas in a pod are together quite often. In the bright pink jacket (and purple sweater) is Gracelyn, my niece. She's almost two and has the spunk that typically goes along with that number! Or does that come from her mom? Hmm. Maybe her auntie. Well, anyway. Not only does she have spunk, but she also knows the sounds that every animal I can conceivably think of makes.
You say, "Gracie, how do dogs go?" and she will quickly follow with a "Woof! Woof!" etc.
Now Jocelyn, the blondie in the light pink jacket, is Gracie's friend that her mom babysits. She's also two ... and she also has spunk! I'm not sure if she knows her animal sounds or not, but as I was quizzing Gracelyn about how pigs, cows, and ducks go, one of Gracelyn's sisters said, "Ask Gracie how Daddy's go."
So I did.
"Gracie, how does Daddy go?"
Blank stare.
"How does Daddy go?"
Two blank stares.
Then Jocelyn threw her hands palm up and said in a voice that made me feel like I needed to go back to Kindergarten, "Daddy go work!"
Silly me. Of course Daddy goes to work!
We won't reveal what Gracie normally says when you ask her how Daddy goes, because, well ... that's a family secret. But at least one record has been set straight ....
Daddy. Go. Work!
And now that we all have that down pat ... here are a few pics of the two peas.
Gracie wasn't sure how she felt about the snow sprinkles.
After we came in to warm up ...
Eenie Meenie Minie Moe. Which one is the sassy one?
My, what big teeeth you have!
My, what big eyes you have!
Play ball!!
Friday, March 18, 2011
cast on, cast off
I bet I lure a lot of knitters in with that title, huh?
Unfortunately, I'm not talking about knitting. I'm talking about arm casts. And Andrew's is about to come off - in a little less than a week.
This is particularly good, because it's beginning to look rather dingy. And I think he's weary of wearing a trash bag in the shower, and not being able to catch a baseball properly. It was nice of the doctor to provide a nice, blue cast that perfectly matches his baseball outfit, but I think we're both tired of it.
My real reason for mentioning any of this, of course, is to keep my word and spill the beans about what I wrote on his cast. None of you were brave enough to guess ... only brave enough to say "Gee, with your sense of humor, there's no tellin' what you wrote!" Ha! That made me laugh. Mostly because I realize you all thought I probably wrote something extremely funny or rude or embarrassing.
**Long pause
Ok, so maybe you were right with the rude part. I dunno what do you think? Is "Smooth move, ExLax!" rude?
**Longer pause
Yeah, you're probably right. But what I really wanted to write was "Roly Poly, Pell Mell, Tumble Bumble!"
Why? Because he looooooved that book when he was little. I'm positive I read it to him at least 3,486 times. And - since he truly did go roly poly, tumble, bumble, pell, mell down the hill, it seemed quite appropriate.
As did strawberry shortcake, rice pudding, and chocolate custard...........
Ahem!
However, when I told him I was going to write a portion of The Poky Little Puppy, he said, "Mom. That's too long. Ya' gotta save room for all my friends."
Psh!! Ok, fine. I see where I rank.
So the ExLax comment is what ya' get if you reject the cute comment. To sweeten things up, I did add "Love, Mom" and "Romans 8:28" to the signature.
See. I'm a great Mom.
Right?
Unfortunately, I'm not talking about knitting. I'm talking about arm casts. And Andrew's is about to come off - in a little less than a week.
This is particularly good, because it's beginning to look rather dingy. And I think he's weary of wearing a trash bag in the shower, and not being able to catch a baseball properly. It was nice of the doctor to provide a nice, blue cast that perfectly matches his baseball outfit, but I think we're both tired of it.
My real reason for mentioning any of this, of course, is to keep my word and spill the beans about what I wrote on his cast. None of you were brave enough to guess ... only brave enough to say "Gee, with your sense of humor, there's no tellin' what you wrote!" Ha! That made me laugh. Mostly because I realize you all thought I probably wrote something extremely funny or rude or embarrassing.
**Long pause
Ok, so maybe you were right with the rude part. I dunno what do you think? Is "Smooth move, ExLax!" rude?
**Longer pause
Yeah, you're probably right. But what I really wanted to write was "Roly Poly, Pell Mell, Tumble Bumble!"
Why? Because he looooooved that book when he was little. I'm positive I read it to him at least 3,486 times. And - since he truly did go roly poly, tumble, bumble, pell, mell down the hill, it seemed quite appropriate.
As did strawberry shortcake, rice pudding, and chocolate custard...........
Ahem!
However, when I told him I was going to write a portion of The Poky Little Puppy, he said, "Mom. That's too long. Ya' gotta save room for all my friends."
Psh!! Ok, fine. I see where I rank.
So the ExLax comment is what ya' get if you reject the cute comment. To sweeten things up, I did add "Love, Mom" and "Romans 8:28" to the signature.
See. I'm a great Mom.
Right?
Friday, March 4, 2011
where i've been
*peeks around corner
Hello! So nice to see you again!!
Yes, I've been away, for a very long time. The good news is that I am not deceased. The bad news is that ... well, there is no bad news! I've been away from home for the last (almost) three weeks, taking care of my mom-in-law while my dad-in-law was out of town on business. And while it's been a little bit crazy, I am home safe and sound, and catching up on rest, laundry, cleaning, and getting to know Jessie again. :-) We plan to reacquaint ourselves this evening, while we watch American Idol and just ... veg.
My refrigerator is chalk full of science projects, but I'm not dealing with that until tomorrow. And yes, I said that yesterday.
Other than that, there isn't a whole lot going on, other than normal everyday life. Baseball season has started for both the Rockies and Andrew. I'm soooo excited!! I can't wait until it gets warm enough to go to a game and get toasty fried in the warm sun! And yes, I know all about skin cancer. I just happen to not care. I'd rather remedy my low vitamin D than worry about something that may never happen. But I am kidding about getting toasty fried. I know that's not a good thing.
I'm also in the midst of starting a blog for the ladies at our church. Unfortunately, it won't be something that non-members will have access to, so I won't be able to point you to it. But I at least had to share, because I'm so excited!!! It's an opportunity to write more, encourage more, and get to know others at my church more. Nothing better than that! I can't wait to see what kind of input and feedback the ladies will give.
Bedee, bedee, that's about it, folks! Oh! Forgot to tell you that Andrew broke him wrist while we were gone. He went on a three day youth retreat, and got into a tubing pile up. Ha! He said all of them were going down the hill, and all of a sudden, the tube flipped and all three of his buddies had landed on his arm while it was twisted behind his back. He said he went face first, with his cheek bouncing up and down on the ground all the way down. And then he said, "And Mom! Michael landed right ON my face. I mean, like, ON IT." Michael weighs about 220, so ... ahem ... I can't imagine that was too pleasant, and it made me wonder how his nose didn't end up getting broken also. ;-)
So, he's in a cast for four weeks, and a splint for two. Baseball practice started the night he got the cast on, of course. Thankfully, it's just the start of the practice season, and he should be good to go as soon as the games start up. And thankfully, it wasn't his pitching arm. Thank you, Lord!
Thanks for stopping in again, assuming I'm not talking to thin air. I'm sure I've lost most of my readers by now. If you did stop in, leave me a little comment and let me know if you have any guesses as to what I said when I signed Andrew's cast (I'll reveal the answer in the next post).
Any guesses?
Anyone?
Anyone???
Hello! So nice to see you again!!
Yes, I've been away, for a very long time. The good news is that I am not deceased. The bad news is that ... well, there is no bad news! I've been away from home for the last (almost) three weeks, taking care of my mom-in-law while my dad-in-law was out of town on business. And while it's been a little bit crazy, I am home safe and sound, and catching up on rest, laundry, cleaning, and getting to know Jessie again. :-) We plan to reacquaint ourselves this evening, while we watch American Idol and just ... veg.
My refrigerator is chalk full of science projects, but I'm not dealing with that until tomorrow. And yes, I said that yesterday.
Other than that, there isn't a whole lot going on, other than normal everyday life. Baseball season has started for both the Rockies and Andrew. I'm soooo excited!! I can't wait until it gets warm enough to go to a game and get toasty fried in the warm sun! And yes, I know all about skin cancer. I just happen to not care. I'd rather remedy my low vitamin D than worry about something that may never happen. But I am kidding about getting toasty fried. I know that's not a good thing.
I'm also in the midst of starting a blog for the ladies at our church. Unfortunately, it won't be something that non-members will have access to, so I won't be able to point you to it. But I at least had to share, because I'm so excited!!! It's an opportunity to write more, encourage more, and get to know others at my church more. Nothing better than that! I can't wait to see what kind of input and feedback the ladies will give.
Bedee, bedee, that's about it, folks! Oh! Forgot to tell you that Andrew broke him wrist while we were gone. He went on a three day youth retreat, and got into a tubing pile up. Ha! He said all of them were going down the hill, and all of a sudden, the tube flipped and all three of his buddies had landed on his arm while it was twisted behind his back. He said he went face first, with his cheek bouncing up and down on the ground all the way down. And then he said, "And Mom! Michael landed right ON my face. I mean, like, ON IT." Michael weighs about 220, so ... ahem ... I can't imagine that was too pleasant, and it made me wonder how his nose didn't end up getting broken also. ;-)
So, he's in a cast for four weeks, and a splint for two. Baseball practice started the night he got the cast on, of course. Thankfully, it's just the start of the practice season, and he should be good to go as soon as the games start up. And thankfully, it wasn't his pitching arm. Thank you, Lord!
Thanks for stopping in again, assuming I'm not talking to thin air. I'm sure I've lost most of my readers by now. If you did stop in, leave me a little comment and let me know if you have any guesses as to what I said when I signed Andrew's cast (I'll reveal the answer in the next post).
Any guesses?
Anyone?
Anyone???
Monday, February 14, 2011
happy vday and a guest post
First of all, Happy Valentine's Day!! I hope your day is filled with pink and red candy, kisses, and hugs. I'm personally spending my day at the orthodontist to get braces on (I know ... how hopelessly romantic!).
But don't be too quick to judge. I've already been romanced with a movie and dinner, and a whole weekend of Shaun and me time. So trust me, I'm content. ;)
For those of you celebrating today, I invite you to read my guest post over at Scribing the Journey (click on the link below). It's all about kisses ... both chocolate and real. And, if you've forgotten VDay, it'll give you a few ideas on how to get up from the computer immediately (!!!!!) and begin putting something together for your lover.
Hugs and kisses to you all!!
Okay ... maybe just hugs.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guest Post:
Dear men reading this,
Valentine’s Day is today. You’re welcome for the reminder.
Dear women reading this,
Valentine’s Day is today. You really should make your lover something good to eat.
Don’t have a clue what to bake? Fear not! I am here to give you a little hint. Continue Reading
But don't be too quick to judge. I've already been romanced with a movie and dinner, and a whole weekend of Shaun and me time. So trust me, I'm content. ;)
For those of you celebrating today, I invite you to read my guest post over at Scribing the Journey (click on the link below). It's all about kisses ... both chocolate and real. And, if you've forgotten VDay, it'll give you a few ideas on how to get up from the computer immediately (!!!!!) and begin putting something together for your lover.
Hugs and kisses to you all!!
Okay ... maybe just hugs.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guest Post:
Dear men reading this,
Valentine’s Day is today. You’re welcome for the reminder.
Dear women reading this,
Valentine’s Day is today. You really should make your lover something good to eat.
Don’t have a clue what to bake? Fear not! I am here to give you a little hint. Continue Reading
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
under construction
*Please excuse my mess. This site is currently under construction - obviously! In the meantime, feel free to browse, as posts should continue to be readable.
Thank you for your patience!
Thank you for your patience!
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