Empty Nesting

This Mama Bird on the Prairie has three baby birds. See them over there on the right? ---->

Cute, aren't they?

Unlike most mama birds, I do not and will not push any of my baby birds out of our nest. Mostly because there's no need to. I know they'll all leave on their own, even though Andrew at times looks at me like he would feel really bad for me if he left.

Don't get me wrong. Raising three teenagers can tend to give you a downright craving for the days of empty nesting. There's a lot of emotional pain, heartache, and frustration in raising teens.

But you love 'em anyway.

A lot.

And when they take their first little wing of flight ... that's when mixed emotions can really take you for the flight of your life.

I posted a Facebook status this week that said, "Whoever said, 'If you love something, set it free' can go suck an egg!!"

My poor Facebook friends. They get the brunt of my frustrations at times.

But that is how I have felt. I haven't talked much about the empty nesting that is taking place, because I don't want to hear all of the comments about how we just have to let our kids go. Let them do their own thing.

Cut those apron strings ...

But it's not about cutting apron strings. For me, it's more about that ch-ch-ch-change I talked about earlier. I have done nothing but build and tend my nest since I was 18 years old. I was married at seventeen, and just after my 18th birthday, Ashlee was born. I've been a stay-at-home mom since. I have no education, and little health to go out and get one once my nest is fully empty.

Empty ...

Looking back twenty years ago, I did not dread the change of marriage. Nor did I dread the change of changing diapers. Those were all new and exciting.

Can't empty nesting be new and exciting??

Somebody help me see the light. I have clearly not thought about this enough through the years to prepare myself for the inevitable booting of my birdies.

Such a mixed up combobulation of feelings. I'm so excited for them. And so lost when it comes to the rest of my own life.

As a result, I feel a bit brokenhearted. Yes, that's the easiest way to put it .... brokenhearted. Not like someone has actually broken my heart, but that my heart is just breaking.

Because even though they fly on their own accord, you fear that they are attempting their first flight with unhealthy wings. You are uncertain they know how to find food on their own ...

And whether they'll remember their way back home.

Perhaps it's a little more about cutting the apron strings than I thought.

~Brenda, the brokenhearted Mama Bird

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart ... Psalm 34:18