Wednesday, October 20, 2010

pooh bear

Today I'm joining MamaKat at Mama's Losin' It. Each week, she sends out writing prompts, and we get to choose which one we'd like to participate in.

I chose writing prompt #1:  In what way were you labeled as a child and how did it affect you?

My Dad had a real knack for doling out nicknames. I swear (but not really) that he's the best I've ever seen at renaming people. Not that the people ever ask for it, mind you. But nevertheless, his talent far outweighs any other.


For example, I have two older brothers. Bob and Larry are their real names (and no, they are not a tomato and cucumber). But according to Dad, they're Mort (short for rigor mortis), and Leapin' Larry Lizzard (or just Lizzard), respectively.


And our friend who stuck a rock up his nose and had to be rushed to the doctor? Twenty years later, he's still not referred to as Michael. He's Rock Beak.

And me? Well, I'm Brenda Pooh. Or Pooh Bear, Pooey, Pooey Looey Fooey, or any other funky combinations.

How did that label affect me as a child? Hmm. Well, I was also known (by my teachers) as being "drifty," a daydreamer, one who would forget her head if it weren't screwed on .. and even stupid. (To this day, I hope the teacher who told me I was dumb either got fired or retired. She truly had no business being a teacher.)

Maybe if the label Pooh Bear was my one and only label, I wouldn't have thought much of it. But group that label with the other labels, and I think it somewhat made an impact on my ability to believe I was intelligent. I mean, let's face it. Pooh Bear's dumber than a rock. A "bear of very little brain."


I do confess that I am a daydreamer. To this day, I find myself in a group conversation, but thinking about something completely different. Or watching tv, but not hearing or seeing anything I'm looking at. Not constantly ... but it is definitely a battle.


Does that mean I'm stupid?

No, it does not.

But it took me a couple of decades to overcome believing that I was. You don't have to hear something over and over for it to make an impact. Sometimes, if words are hurtful enough, you only need to hear them once before the damage is done.

Where does one turn when their "self-esteem" is ripped away or severely damaged?

All I know is that eventually, you have to turn to someone other than the flawed people whom we live with on this planet. And I eventually came to the conclusion that it only matters what my Creator thinks. Scripture has taught me that "I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14)" and that I am "loved with an everlasting love (Jer. 31:3)". Not only that, but I am "precious in His sight (Is. 43:4)."


Does realizing these truths mean I don't have challenges?

No.

Does it excuse me from trying my hardest, and learning to concentrate better?

Nope.

But it does validate me as a person who is loved by my God, with an everlasting love. He created me, and I am precious in His sight.


If that doesn't boost a gal's feeling of self-worth, I don't know what will.

I'm reminded of the old sing-song "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. Words do hurt. Words have incredible impact. So please ... think before you speak, especially when you're speaking to a child.

I asked my Dad a while back whether I was nicknamed Pooh Bear because I was a "kid of very little brain." His answer made me smile. He said, "Noooooo!! It was because Pooh Bear was so cute, and so were you!"

Fortunately, I never realized Pooh was referred to as a bear of very little brain until I was older.

And fortunately, Dad still calls me Brenda Pooh. 

11 comments:

MJ Rodriguez said...

Aaaw! Sweet dad and daughter memories.

metamor4sis said...

Thanks for sharing this. So true about words =)

me said...

Thanks for sharing. My mother and grandmother used to call me tractor-trailer butt because of my rather large rear when I was a kid and that bothered me more than anyone will ever know. And as much as I loved my mom and grandmother (may they RIP), I still fight with that self-image of my "BOB" (big ole butt). Words that come off a double-edged tongue sting the most and the wound lasts the longest!

JustMom420zaks said...

I can tell from your writing you aren't dumb.
Your dad sounds sweet and funny, did anyone ever come up with a nickname for him?
I'm distractable too. Thats why we write so well.

Windthicket Fables said...

Awww! LOL- I think your dad sounds very endearing. You don't sound stupid to me at all, but I think EVERYONE has had a teacher that said those kinds of things to them. I had several.

I am visiting from Mamakat's. I'd love for you to come read my prompt as well! www.becauseidontscrapbook.blogspot.com

Thanks!

Donna said...

Ah! 'Poor Bear' is the nickname my Mom used for my Dad, and it definitely was a term of endearment. And, I agree, one must be very careful what is said to a child as it becomes his or her world. I was very impressionable at a young age and am still forming my identity today. You are loved and so is your writing.

Karen and Gerard said...

What a gift your dad had! You should have asked your dad why "Pooh Bear" sooner. You are right about words though--they can be very hurtful.

Stopping by from writer's workshop. Here's ours: http://zemeks.blogspot.com/2010/10/fat-stutterer-writers-workshop.html

dawn @ Dawning said...

Okay- I left a comment on your great piecework projects but couldn't resist...
My nickname was Myrtle and my sister was Gertrude... or I was Gertrude and she was Myrtle... it always changed-- thanks Dad.
HeMan Hubby calls Bratchild (13 yo girl) Pretty Butt and has since she was a tiny baby. TeenBoy was Poozers or Pooh, and SIX is No-Butt-Boy or No-Butt for short because, you got it, since he was born he has been a tall skinny kid with no rear-end to speak of. The kid wears extra skinny jeans and they sag in the rear!
Yes- my kids too say Thanks Dad for the lovely nicknames...
It could be worse, your dad and mine could have been like Archie Bunker, then God only knows WHAT kind of nicknames we would have had!

Jerry said...

Well, from what I have read in your blog thus far you are definately not dumb. At least you weren't Eyore(Eeore, Eyoer,...)that would have been a much more detrimental fate. Us bloggers would visit your place if we wanted to get bummed out. Embrace the cute Pooh and release the dumb Pooh.

Jackie said...

You are so right about words having an incredible impact on someone! I'm always watching what I say to people, especially my little boy.

When I started reading your post, I was wondering how Pooh Bear would have a negative effect because like you're dad said, he was cute (and cuddly)!

Unknown said...

Very well said. Words and even actions hurt... I know I have had to overcome those. Thanks for the encouragment.

My Dad nicknamed me SugerPlum..LOL.

I missed being around the past two weeks... I was at a blog conference then had personal things to catch up to... nice to be back amongst my blogging friends.

Anne @ http://lessonsthrulife.com