The Threat of an Empty Page

My dear husband and I had a short conversation about writing today, so I've been thinking about the prospects of becoming a writer.

What might that mean for my life?

What might that mean for the significance of my life?

What might that mean in regards to the glory of God?

Would I be able to write in a way that glorifies God?

These are all questions, along with the ever daunting empty page staring back at me, that haunt me until I very often give in to their "reason."

Sometimes, a blank page to me says ...

"You don't have anything to say."

"You don't have anything worthwhile to say."

"You think you can fill me up? Ha!!! I laugh at writers like you!"

"You're just the baby of the family. You have nothing but jibberish in that mind of yours."

Or the ominous, "I dare you."

At times, I receive the more positive:

"I can't wait to be filled, line by line, by your beautifully written words that come from the depths of your soul."

"Color me."

"Make the world a better place. Right here. Right now."

Sing it with me .....

"You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be."

Ok, the Josh Groban Raise Me Up song is getting a little carried away, but for some reason, the pages will sometimes be encouraging and sing that to me.

More often than not, the first three lines tend to win the battle.

Do I think writing can be used to glorify God? Absolutely.

Do I feel called to write? I have gone off and on with this over the years. And sometimes, I get distracted. REALLY distracted. But ultimately, yes. I think I am.

The next obvious question would be, "Then what are you waiting for?!!"

And the answer to that is, "I don't know."

See, I want to be a lot of things. I would love to be a nurse. I would love to have some type of sewing business. I have also contemplated opening up a shop, selling gift baskets, becoming an artist, owning a book store, etc. The list goes on. But obviously, you can't do all of that and do it well. You've got to stick to one thing and do it well.

One.

Due to health problems, there are only a couple of options that will work. And the problem with writing is that there is no guarantee, folks. None. Nada. Zip.

I could pour my life into it, and never get published.

This does not, in any way, shape or form, give me warm fuzzies. And I like warm fuzzies. Because they're warm ... and fuzzy.

It scares me to work so hard on something, only to have rejection slip after rejection slip come in the mail. I'm not talking about a 250 word article here. I'm talking about pouring my heart and soul into a novel. Or a devotional book for mom's. Or for sick people. It's a lot of work, with a potential for no return.

However ...

I, once again, reject those ominous whispers of the empty page. I reject my fear. I reject all of the feelings of inadequacy, and .... I write.

Hear me, oh threatening empty page!!! I'm bigger than you. My God is bigger than you. And if God says that I'm to write, then I will write. Remember, blank slate, what your role is: to submit to me and the colorful stories and encouraging words I etch upon the fibers of your being. When the stormy winds of life come, you may get away for a short time, whipping to and fro mid air. But eventually, the storm will end, and you will lie still.

It is then that I will gently pick you up, dust us off, and write about the storm we weathered together. So that when others weather a similar storm, they too will know our survival techniques. While they are waiting upon the Lord for the winds and waves to calm, their strength will be renewed, they'll mount up with wings as eagles, they'll run and not grow weary, they'll walk, and not faint.**

That, Empty Page .... is your destiny.

~Brenda

**Isaiah 40:31