chocolate covered bacon

I don't eat chocolate.

So when my church put on a function entitled "Chocolate Lover's Delight Night," I wasn't exactly .... thrilled. There would be a prize for best tasting, best presentation, and best combination.

My lack of passion, I suppose, is understandable. If I can't eat even one morsel of the incredible spread of chocolate, why go to all the trouble of making a fancy schmancy chocolate dish? For sheer torture, or what? So I told my husband I was going to make a pan of brownies. Better yet, Andrew would make a pan of brownies. Just plain. Ol'. Brownies.

As said hubby and I got to talking, I remembered hearing men were to be the judges. So I started immediately thinking of hearty foods I could possibly put with chocolate. Peanut Butter came to mind, but there would likely be many other chocolate/p.b. combinations. To try for best presentation just made me laugh. I don't have the tools or patience to enter that. Best taste? Meh. Possibly.

Then I remembered a recipe I spotted a few months back ... chocolate covered bacon! 

It was hearty.

It was salty.

It was sweet.

It was a done deal.

And I won the prize for best combination!! Woohoo!!

What did I win?

This:

Serves me right for having a bad attitude about serving others with delicious chocolate, huh?

Nothing a teenage boy won't help get rid of, I suppose ... 

Although I can't tell you how the bacon tasted, I will tell you that several men were in favor of it, and not a single piece was left. One teenage girl liked it, and one didn't. So women, eat at your own risk. :)

Here's the recipe, for those of you who are interested in trying it out:

• 12 Servings
• Prep: 20 min. Bake: 20 min.

Ingredients

• 12 thick-sliced bacon strips (about 1 pound)
• 12 wooden skewers (12 inches)
• 6 ounces white candy coating, chopped
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• 1 tablespoon shortening
• Optional toppings: chopped dried apple chips, apricots and crystallized ginger, finely chopped pecans and pistachios, toasted coconut, kosher salt, brown sugar, cayenne pepper and coarsely ground black pepper

Directions

• Thread each bacon strip onto a wooden skewer. Place on a rack in a large baking pan. Bake at 400° for 20-25 minutes or until crisp. Cool completely.
• In a microwave, melt candy coating; stir until smooth. Combine chocolate chips and shortening; melt in a microwave and stir until smooth.
• With pastry brushes, coat bacon on both sides with melted coatings. Top each strip as desired. Place on waxed paper-lined baking sheets. Refrigerate until firm. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 1 dozen.

Nutrition Facts: 1 bacon strip (calculated without toppings) equals 212 calories, 14 g fat (8 g saturated fat), 10 mg cholesterol, 252 mg sodium, 19 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 5 g protein.

Chocolate-Covered Bacon published in Taste of Home April/May 2010, p70

Do not, I repeat ... do NOT use cheap, thin sliced bacon or else you'll end up with it looking like the last picture I've posted of the bacon. The thin sliced bacon doesn't thread on the skewers well, and they end up looking like beheaded, sickly cows.

Disturbing, I know.

The beheaded, skinny cows!! 

And for your pleasure, here are some of the other entries that night. We've got some super duper bakers at our church!!! Isn't this first one gorgeous?

This one below won best taste!!

Made by my friend, Lynne. So pretty!! 

And this won best presentation, of course. Our Pastor's daughter, who recently became engaged, was practicing for the wedding. Haha! You go, girl! 

P.S. If you would like to know more about why I'm unable to eat chocolate or bacon, click here. I didn't want to goober up my pretty post by talking about health problems!

burn, baby, burn

Just one question today ...

Do you think it would be a bit eccentric to burn a project that's been in progress for nearly two and a half years?

Speak now. Before I light up.

magazines, thread, and fat quarters - oh my!

I promised you a picture of my table runner that I'm working on, and I promise (pinky swear!) that I will post a few pictures soon. I'm so close to being done, I can almost see it gracefully lying on my table as it's meant to. Once I quilt the edges and put the binding on, we'll be all set.

In the meantime, I took a trip to Hancock Fabrics because I needed some more thread. Y'all know what happens when you go to Hancocks for thread, right?

That's right. You come home with more than just thread! I didn't mean to, really. I just needed some tan thread, and I decided to get the black thread for my next project while I was there. Then I wandered the aisles, found the fat quarters, and lurked in the clearance section. That's when I spotted these fat quarters (pictured below).

Who can resist fat quarters that are 60% off!? If you raised your hand, you are in the wrong place. Leave now.

I'm especially fond of the butterfly print. Unfortunately, they only had one, and the fabric lady told me they didn't sell it on a bolt. Hmmm. She also drooled all over said fat quarter. Perhaps she's not telling me the whole story, so that SHE can purchase the bolt. 

Ya' never know about those old lady fabric cutters. 

Where was I?
 

Oh, yes. My point was that it's best to simply stay away from Hancock's or JoAnn's when you just need a little thread. 

Unless of course you would also like have the money for fabric and a magazine. 

Someday, I'll learn that. 

simple woman's daybook

I'm celebrating simplicity with many other ladies today. Go to the Simple Woman's Daybook to see other posts and link up with us!

Here goes:

Outside my window... Smoke, from a nearby forest fire. I don't know whether the details I've heard are accurate or not. But if they are, nine firefighter's have lost their homes (but continue to fight the fire around the clock), and four people are missing. It rained a bit today, but I'm praying for more.

I am thinking... I better go to bed soon, so I have energy to do my mommy thing. :)

I am thankful for... So many things! I'm seriously considering a Polyanna post later on entitled "The Glad Game."

From the learning rooms... The American's Creed, Phil. 2:4-11, and the names of all the oceans and seas, to name a few.

From the kitchen... There's one more piece of apple pie. Any volunteers?

I am wearing... Blue knickers with a blue and white hooded sweatshirt. It's Autumn!!

I am creating... A table runner. Hopefully pics will be up soon! I just need to finish a bit of quilting and sew the binding on.

I am going... Somewhere special for my anniversary. But it's a secret for now. Tell ya' later ... with pictures, of course.

I am reading... Be Still My Soul, by Elisabeth Elliot. Also Sinners In The Hands Of A Good God by David Clotfelter (I won't actually start reading this until tomorrow).

I am hoping... My back feels better tomorrow. I feel like someone beat me with a baseball bat. Ouchie.

I am hearing... Nothing but Andrew watching a survival show, but I'm doing my best to tune it out since they're eating dead rabbits.

Around the house... The dishwasher is fixed, thanks to a husband who is an awesome fixer upper dude!

One of my favorite things... Talking to you. Even better when you talk to me. ;)

A few plans for the rest of the week: Grocery shopping. Love to grocery shop.


Here is picture for thought I am sharing... This is a picture of a little girl at the swimming pool (obviously). I don't know her. I was just stalking her while Andrew and his cousins swam. Do me a favor (insert picture of me on my knees begging here) and let me know which coloring you like best? 1, 2, or 3?

1. 

2.

3.

homeschooled terrorists

Sometimes ... when homeschoolers get a day off ...

They work up these crazy scenarios ... 

Like they are terrorists ....

Or more like some of them are terrorists ... 

And some are good guys

And it's all fun and games ...

Right up until you lose your pants.

**Disclaimer: No homeschoolers, parents, or animals were hurt during the making of this blog post.

10 things i'm learning at school

While reading this, keep in mind that we're doing video homeschooling. That means we watch recorded class sessions. They're real classes, with real kids and teachers. It's like going to school, but I overlook student work, administer tests, etc.

So!

Ten things I'm learning at (home) school this year:

1. Some students are just one peanut short of a box of cracker jacks. We were studying verbs, right? So Miss R. calls a student up to the front of the class to act out the next verb. Said student puts her arms out in front of her, makes two fists, and begins "driving a car." Student in the back of the class raises his hand, and says, "Milking a cow!"

Ok, I know you're not supposed to laugh at the children. But seriously? Milking a cow?! I not only laughed. I turned red, couldn't stop laughing, and had to pause the video to gather my wits.

*Snort!

Milking a cow ...

2. Perfection isn't the goal. Our Pastor always says, "Direction, not perfection." Don't expect perfection from yourself (or others). Work hard in the right direction. No better way to discourage a kid than to expect all of his work to be perfect.

3. I've forgotten a lot since graduating *bleep* years ago. Ohhh. Don't look at me in that tone of voice. I bet you're in the same boat. No? Then tell me (without googling it) what a male bee is called. Go ahead. Which bees work, and which ones only mate? Which ones die and which ones hibernate? Hmmm?

4. I like the poem, The Village Blacksmith, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

5. A little encouragement goes a long way. Never underestimate the power of a positive word (or two, or more). I'm beginning to think of it as fuel in my child's gas tank.

6. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. I loathe this saying. It's a cop out for other family members. The fact is, if there's one unhappy family member, all others suffer. So in that respect, yes. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. But let's get to the real point and admit that if Mama, Daddy, son, or daughter ain't happy ... ain't nobody happy.

7. You cannot put in what God has left out (Douglas Wilson). Best approach to take is to nurture your child's God-given talents. Don't try to turn a struggling math student into an algebra teacher, or a seamstress into a chef.

8. I no longer find history and science boring. I liked chemistry in high school, but all other science classes, and every history class I took were the biggest bore and frustrations of my young life.

Not anymore!! I love learning much more than when I was a kid. What's up with that, anyway? Anybody else experience the same? Is it a matter of maturity?

9. To help a child is to store up treasures in heaven. Every day, whether the homeschooling process is grueling or smooth, I know my efforts will not merely amount to wood, hay, and stubble. This is God's work, folks. It's work I'm happy to be doing, even if it sometimes means dirty dishes sit longer than I prefer, or late night laundry folding.

Ok, ok. The dirty dishes sitting bothers me more than I've just let on. I'm gradually (continually!) learning that a spic and span kitchen is not high on the totem pole.

10. I don't like to sit for six hours a day. Hurts my bompy, and makes me sore and sleepy.

The end.

they stand at the door and knock, knock, knock

To all the boys who think they love my daughter,

I know it's hard. My daughter is beautiful. She's funny, perky, supportive, intelligent, and fun to be around. And much to your pleasant surprise, she's once again ... single.

You know what that means?

What's that?

No. It does not mean that you can begin showing up on my doorstep to take her here, there, and everywhere. And no, it does not mean that you can write her love letters. Or call incessantly. And don't even try to play that "my shoulder is here for you to cry on" game. Do you really want a gal on the rebound? Stop listening to your raging, popping hormones and THINK. It's been one week since her and her fiance broke up.

ONE. WEEK. That's seven days, for those of you who are uneducated.

Now, here's what my daughter's new "single" status on facebook means. It means that she's come to the conclusion that marriage isn't for her right now. You don't need to know the reasons. All you need to do is respect them. And her. And me. And her father. And her sister. And her brother. Yes, her brother and sister. Are you ignorant to the fact that when a serious relationship starts in a family, it affects each member? We begin to love the person who (by dating my daughter) is a candidate to become a son-in-law to us. When that relationship is broken, we all grieve.

But more importantly ... is it in her best interest to start another relationship at this time (remember, we're thinking with our brains here, not our hormones)? When you flock to my doorstep, ring my doorbell, or write her letters, are you thinking of her? Do you realize that's what a healthy relationship consists of? Thinking of others first? First. As in ... before you.

Some of you may be wracking your brain, thinking, "Oh dear me, what could I do to impress Mr. and Mrs. C so that they would approve of me dating Jessica?" If that's what you're thinking, you've already failed. Because I just asked you not to knock on our door. Or maybe you're saying, "You're the mom. Who cares what you think? Jessie's a big girl, and she can make her own decisions."

You're absolutely correct, but again - you fail. Jessica does not require our approval. She's legally an adult, and therefore can do whatever she pleases. But if you were any sort of gentleman, you'd be seeking our advice and approval, just as Jessica does.

I know it's counter-cultural, but there's a little thing we like to call respect around our house. Respect for others, but more pointedly, respect for our elders. Why have respect for our elders? Because they're older. And wiser. And (news flash!) people who have been married for over 20 years tend to know a few things about making a marriage work. If you are too proud to ask for help, adivce, and wisdom from others, you aren't good enough. And you guessed it .... you FAIL.

Have you ever heard of Voddie Bauchum?

Go ahead, Desperado. Google that.

On second thought, save yourself the typing. If you don't know who he is, then you'll have no idea what we as parents expect from someone dating our daughter, and again, you have failed.

Are you feeling tested?

Good. Because that's basically what dating is. It's a test. A test to see whether you would make a good husband, father, lifetime mate, lover, and leader of a family. And guess who administers the test? Yep, you guessed it. Mr. C and yours truly. So forget about sweet talkin' Jessie into believing you're groom worthy, or even date worthy, and thinking you've passed some sort of unwritten test. Because (another news flash!) it's not solely about what Jessie thinks. There are people who love her and are here to protect her against hormonal, raging idiots that wander in from the streets.

If being tested scares you away, good. It proves that all you would want in a relationship is the funny, and the beautiful. In other words ... you're shallow, and relying on your hormones to do your thinking.

So, farewell shallow boys. Come back in five, ten, fifteen years, when you've studied what it means to be a real husband, father, and home leader. When you've got some kind of financial ability to care for a family, and when you've been knocked around hard enough to know that R-E-S-P-E-C-T is a good and godly trait ... and absolutely essential to succeeding in life ... especially in this household (know ye not that when a person marries, he/she marries a whole family?).

Until then, we will continue to lead and instruct Jessica as well as we can into becoming the kind of wife and mother God desires her to be. We'll all do our part. You do your part. And then (and only then!) will we even be interested in seeing your ugly mug on our doorstep.

Yes, that's right. Being hot! is not a pre-requisite.

There. I've given you some hope.

Dutifully yours,

Mrs. C